Given the Chance

Chapter Four: Tell Me

Chapter Four: Tell Me

Max looked up at me, grinning lopsidedly, putting his fourth drink down. I had just hit seven, and I was gone. I couldn't feel anything except Max, and the horrors of a few hours ago felt a thousand miles away.

"So you moaned my name during sex?" I laughed, turning and straddling Max's waist. He laughed lightly, setting his hands on my hips and watching me take my eighth drink. I had shed my big hoodie, leaving me just in my work shirt, and I'd let my long hair down.

"I did," he leaned his head back, looking up at me through fuzzy feelings and blurred colors. "Sometimes Dani just isn't sexy to me, so I have to imagine someone who is to get through it."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "So you imagine your best friend instead?"

Max's features changed slightly, before shrugging. "You know you and I have been dancing around chemistry for years now."

I chuckled. "What kind of chemistry?" I came closer, watching his eyes widen in surprise at my boldness. I hoped I wasn't gonna remember anything tomorrow, and I didn't care what happened between here and there. Looking into Max's eyes... I realized he didn't care either.

Suddenly, without warning, I'd crashed my lips down on Max's. My best friend didn't even seem shocked, kissing back instantly and pressing my body flush against his, suddenly feeling every curve and every muscle of his defined body. His fingers hooked into my belt loops, and everything began to blur into this one feeling of content ecstasy, swirling around us in a feeling of something we should have done so long ago. Max's hands slid up the back of my shirt, his cold touch against my back forcing me closer against his body and God did something ever feel so fucking right.

Suddenly Max pulled away, looking up at me with slightly sobered eyes. "Talia..."

I groaned. "No!" I said. "No Max! Do not make me make important decisions right now! Do not remind me of how what might happen could change us. Just shut up and let's fucking lose ourselves."

Max didn't say anything for a moment, before giving a small smile, nodding, and bringing me back down to kiss me again. I felt his hands reach up to the top button of my shirt, and be began undoing them, one at a time, until he could open the shirt entirely and see my body. He laced his hands back around my back, nothing but his shirt and my bra between our chests.

What was about to happen didn't exactly hit me until he picked me up, my legs and arms wrapped tightly around his torso as he carried me back to his bedroom. My stomach filled with anticipation, as if it was something I had been waiting for, as if I'd waited an eternity.

Max shut the door behind us and flicked his light switch off, leaving us in the soft light of a bedside lamp.

* * * * *

I woke up warm, resting softly against something strong. My head was pounding against my skull, and I felt a lot like dying. A fog settled heavily over my head as I tried to figure out the last thing I remembered... Bryson... Throwing up... Bottles after bottles after bottles...

I opened my eyes and realized I was naked.

"Oh god..." Everything came rushing back. My sudden noise caused the being behind me to shift against me. I cursed under my breath, lifting my hand to my temple as the pulsing got worse with the lifting fog.

"Tally..." I heard Max whisper. He kissed my ear. "Baby?"

I groaned. "We really fucked up, didn't we Max?"

I felt his body shrug, his arms around my waist tightening. "Maybe not," he whispered. He watched as I slowly shifted onto my back, looking up at his face. He looked so content, mirroring the way I felt beneath the realization that I'd helped him cheat on his girlfriend.

"What do you mean?" I spoke, pulling the covers further over my chest. "You're cheating, Max."

Max blushed a bit, but shrugged. "She doesn't have to know. It was a drunken mistake, baby..."

I sighed. "God I shouldn't have called you," I whispered. "This is my fault."

Max shifted suddenly, moving so he straddled my waist. "Talia," he said, and the way he spoke my name sent chills down my spine. "This isn't your fault. You called me in your time of desperate need. You called me because you were scared and alone and needed someone. I'm your best friend. That's what I'm for. This is our fault. We were two drunk, consenting adults. We made this decision."

Max sighed, sitting back a little. "I got selfish," he whispered a little. "I wanted to see if the chemistry we had actually had weight. I wanted to be with you, to lay with you and feel you around me, and I let my drunken desires get the best of me."

I chucked bitterly. "You and me both."

Max blushed a little. "God I'm awful."

I laced my arm around his waist, bringing him closer. "Why are you awful?"

Max couldn't meet my gaze. "Because I want to do it again."

I blushed, realizing we'd ended up in another compromising position. Max suddenly looked at me, placing his hand tenderly against the side of my face that wasn't bruised. "He left a mark, that son of a bitch," he murmured. "He's lucky you didn't shoot him."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't have been able to pull the trigger," I told him. Max laughed darkly.

"He better hope I never see him," Max spoke through clenched teeth. I sighed a little, and it hit me with force that this was so natural to us. This could be our every day lives, and the thought was terrifying to me.

So I did the only thing I could think of; I ran.

"Hey, I gotta go," I said, quickly sliding out from beneath him. He grabbed for me, stopping me from getting out of bed. Max's concern radiated from his bare body, and he pulled me back into him, without much resistance from me.

"No baby," he spoke quietly, pressing us chest to chest. "You're not gonna run from this. Not right now."

I frowned. "Max, this is bad," I whispered. "You have a girlfriend who you love very much. I have..." I paused. I didn't have anything anymore.

Max shook his head. "Tell me you regret it," he murmured, holding me tightly. "Tell me you aren't dying to lay down with me and forget the world. Tell me you wish you could erase the feeling of us from your mind, from your body. Tell me you don't want to feel me inside of you again. Tell me all that, and I won't bring it up ever again."

Max stared at me, his brown eyes searching my blue ones, looking for an ounce of regret in my features. I didn't say anything; I couldn't. He was right, so right in every single way. I wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed with him and lay down and fall back asleep. But I couldn't; I wouldn't.

"I can't," I whispered finally. "I can't tell you those things. But I can tell you that Dani deserves better, despite being a total bitch. And I... I need to..."

Max unwrapped himself from around me, nodding slowly. "You need space and time," he whispered, keeping his eyes downcast. "I get that."

I looked at him, before slowly getting out of bed and dressing myself. Everything between us was different... Everything was changed. I pulled my clothes on and looked back at him, watched him bury his head in his hands. I sighed, picking his head up by his chin. "Hey," I said. "Pick me up from work tonight?"

Max nodded, almost too quickly, smiling sheepishly and I pressed a kiss to his nose. He caught me when I tried to pull away, holding me by the nape of my neck and pushing his lips against mine. I let him kiss me, our first sober kiss, unsure of whether or not I'd ever feel him like this again, wanting to sigh and let me pull me into him until the world stopped being so fucked.

But I couldn't. And with that last kiss, I slipped out of his arms, his room, his house, the pounding in my head intensifying.