Water Under the Bridge ›› n.h. mature

Twelve

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"What? It's fun."

"Except that we aren't actually dating."

"I mean, I was coming over here to have sex with you so what I said stretched the truth less than what you said."

"Yeah, way to save your comment on your way inside."

"That was a close call!" He chuckled at himself.

"Well you don't have to stay," I said. "I know you didn't come over to talk to my parents."

"I don't mind. Gotta make it believable, right?"

"I guess." I don't want to be in this lie. I'm good at lying in the moment but this seems like something that could grow beyond my control.

"Calm down. It's funny."

He leaned into me, surprising me a bit, and kissed me. Not as part of the act, he just kissed me.

I let myself enjoy the feel of his rough hand on my cheek for a moment. Then I looked at him, again confused.

"What? Just getting into character. Also, I've missed you." He shrugged and went back into the kitchen, not giving me too much time to question him about the kiss.

I followed him, nervous for the questions to come.

"Why on earth wouldn't you tell us?" Mum asked. As if we were on great terms the last few months?

Uh oh. She looks so hurt. She's trying to reach out and it looks like I'm not giving that same effort on my end.

"Uh, it's fairly recent. I didn't want to jinx it," I lied. Hopefully that sounded convincing.

My mum gave a little huff. Shoot. This was a horrible lie that's not helping my relationship with them. I'm getting more angry at Niall by the second.

"What's new in Mullingar?" Niall asked. He's better about being casual with this lie. He sat down and started helping himself to the food I'd made.

"Not much. The hospital is getting the new wing we needed, thanks to the auction."

"Well in that case, you're welcome!" Niall said.

"Niall," I muttered. My dad ended up laughing at it though.

"You did give a sizable chunk," Dad said. "We appreciate it."

"I love doing it. Especially when it goes back to my hometown." He turned to me. "Kate, babe, can you pass me the potatoes?"

He smirked at me. He knows I'm uncomfortable with this lie so he's milking it and going over the top.

"Sure, babe." I meant to sound sarcastic but I think I just sounded terse.

"Thank you." He had a cocky grin pasted on his face. It wasn't two seconds before I felt his hand on my thigh.

"Nope," I said, pushing my chair back with a scrape and standing up. I realized how weird that must have looked to my parents, who keep glancing back and forth between us. "I'm going to get the dessert."

I walked the few short steps to the counter and grabbed the tray of brownies.

"Mum? Dad?"

"Yes, please!"

"Niall?" I held the brownie up.

"I'll pass. I had something better in mind for dessert tonight."

I paused for a second, holding in the response I wanted to snap at him. Please let this be going over my parents' heads. I took a deep breath. "Well this is all you're getting here," I finally said, shooting him a look.

"Fair enough. Okay, I'll have one."

...

"What the hell, Niall?"

I've been holding in my frustration at him for two days. My parents finally left and now I can let him have it.

Finally left is harsh. It was a good visit considering everything. We're making progress.

He shrugged. "It was funny."

"It looked like I lied to them when I'm trying to mend everything."

"It's fine, Kate. I just wanted to have some fun with it!"

"It was embarrassing."

"What? That you could be dating me?"

"No, just the sloppiness of the lie."

"I think we were very convincing. They definitely didn't notice." I didn't say anything so he moved on. "Can we have sex yet?" He didn't look at me when he asked. No gentle touching, no trying to convince me, he just said it plainly. I guess that's all I should expect with a friend with benefits but still, I didn't like it.

"I don't feel like it."

"Kate," he pleaded with me.

"I don't."

"Why not? Cause you're mad at me?"

"You of all people know it's been rocky with my parents and that I want to fix it so bad. I just would've thought you'd treat it less like a joke or something to have fun with."

"Katie, don't be this way. You know I still care about that."

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Damn it, Kate, we aren't dating. You knew what you were getting into. I'm not your boyfriend! I don't have to worry about your parents, I can fuck around when they're here, because we aren't actually together."

I know he has a huge point and it makes me angry. I can't admit that he's right.

"Just go."

"Huh?" Niall asked, genuinely confused I wasn't going to give in.

"Leave."

"Cause I told your parents we're dating?"

"Because you don't care at all about how bad I want to fix things with them! You know, I thought I could do this whole no feelings thing but right now I just can't be around you."

"Katie," he mumbled.

"Stop."

He finally saw I wasn't giving in. He turned to leave looking dejected. I'm not going to let him make me feel bad for the way I reacted. I'm being nothing but honest about the way I feel.

For something that was supposed to be so meaningless, I feel pretty hurt right now.