Almost Is Never Enough || Book I

Chapter 77

"That's not enough Nath, and you know it," Max said.

"Well maybe just for now because I won't be able to sleep without apologizing somehow. Then maybe we can talk face to face?" Nathan said.

"Well it looks like you're not sleeping tonight then," Max said. "Just leave her alone for awhile, she's not going to want to talk to you. I suggest you figure something out and soon," Max said, leaving Nathan in the living room alone.

"I'm an actual asshole." He whispered, hating himself at the moment. He ran his hands through his hair repeatedly, very stressed out. He decided to send you a quick text to start off.

Nath: Love, I know you hate me right now and don't want to talk to me. Just please, let me apologize, please.

Yours always, Nathy xx

He kept looking at his text, re-reading it, hoping you would respond. You didn't. He sighed and turned off his phone, realizing that you wouldn't talk to him now even if he was the last person on Earth. He opened his phone again and went on twitter. "Don't you hate it when you screw things up with someone you really care about?" He tweeted.

He couldn't stop thinking about what happened, how he could've changed it, what he should've done. It was all spinning around in his head and it only made him feel even worse. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a cold beer, chugging it down, trying to drown out his feelings. You kept running through his mind as he looked over at the empty beer bottle. You would've been ashamed of him now and he knew it. He knew that you always stopped people from drinking their feelings away and it made him feel guilty. "Wow...even when I'm coping with screwing up, I screw up," he said, almost crying.

Nathan stood there in the kitchen, putting his head in his hands. For a second-just a second-he looked at the beer bottle again, picturing it in shards. He couldn't even do that though. No matter what he had thought about to try and cope with himself, you always seemed to rush into his mind and stop him, like always. He eventually just broke down with tears streaming down his face. "How could I say that to her?" He wondered aloud. "God I'm such a horrible person," he whispered through his sobs.

*Meanwhile with you*

You curled up into Jay in bed as he wrapped an arm around you. "You're so beautiful," Jay whispered as he nuzzled into your neck.

"And you're so sweet," you said. You were worried about Nath, but still very pissed.

Jay could feel the tension radiating off of you, but decided to not bring Nathan up again, it would only upset you even more. You checked your phone, seeing his text and tweet. You sighed and turned your phone off for the night. You couldn't let him get to you, not this easily.

"I'm sorry babe," Jay mumbled, kissing your head.

"It's okay," you said, turning around so that your head was on his chest. "You know, I love this," you mumbled.

"I love it more," Jay said, wrapping his arms around you fully and resting his chin on top of your head.

"You have no idea how I feel in moments like these," you whispered.

Jay smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I probably feel the same way," he said.

"Is it like you're at peace? Like you feel safe and loved? You feel on top of the world or sort of like you're flying with no wings? And your heart pounds insanely, but at the same time everything is just perfect? Like time slows down before basically melting into this one moment, that you wished would be endless?" You whispered.

"It's all of that and more," Jay said. "I feel as though I can protect you from everything in these moments, when I wrap my arms around you and you fall asleep into my chest. It's like I can stop anything and everything from ruining this. In a different way though, you feel my protection as you lay in my arms, like nothing can ever hurt you because of me, like I'm your hero."