Metal Heart [ Jikook ]

Chapter 14

"Do you think I did something?" Jungkook asked quietly. Seokjin took a minute to answer, as he'd just taken a bite of his food. He held up a finger and shook his hand, quickly swallowing what he had in his mouth-- "No! No, of course not. I told you he might malfunction sometimes. It's alright-- he's fine. I just have to fix him."

"Okay." Jungkook whispered. Seokjin spoke again before his next bite, "It shouldn't take me too long. Maybe a couple days-- do you want to stay with me until he's fixed?"

"I--" Jungkook wanted to say yes. He wanted to say yes badly, but did he really need Seokjin to help him? Was he really so dependant that he couldn't spend a few days on his own? He was so spoiled, he thought, to always have someone taking care of him. He was constantly fed by Seokjin, by his school, by Taehyung-- why did he need his friends to be his parents now? Why did he still need to be guided? He shook his head, "No-- I'm okay. Thank you, hyung."

"Are you sure?" Seokjin asked, and-- no, he wasn't sure. In fact, he did want to stay, but he didn't want to be dependant. This was an opportunity, Jungkook thought. Things happen for a reason-- something Jungkook had always believed in-- and this reason was loneliness; Jungkook needed to be lonely for a little while to learn how to be independant. He nodded this time, "Yes, I'm sure. I'll be okay, hyung."

"Okay," Seokjin agreed, "But drop by after school, okay? I miss seeing you every day."

"I miss you too." Jungkook said quietly. He sat up a little straighter in his seat, "Did you have a good day, hyung? Work today?"

"Yep! I've been working on a project with the team." Seokjin said. His voice had changed a bit. Jungkook frowned; he was lying. Seokjin looked nervous at the look on Jungkook's face, but he covered it up well-- at least, well enough that Jungkook decided to let it go, "It's just a little project, though. Um. We're not really sure how far we'll get."

"Experimenting?" Jungkook asked, keeping his questions brief, simple. Seokjin never lied unless he had a good reason, so Jungkook decided not to push. Maybe it wasn't even important.

"Yep! We're in that phase now. It'll probably be a few more weeks before we start creating anything. We're actually not sure if we will, we're just looking for some answers right now, coming up with theories. It's fun." Seokjin smiled. Jungkook smiled, too. Seokjin asked the question this time, "What about school? Taehyung was really worried about you today-- are you alright?"

"Better now. I missed Jimin. I-I missed you." Jungkook said, and Seokjin smiled bright, "I missed you too, Kookie. And I'm sure Jimin misses you as well. He'll be really happy to see you again when he's fixed."

"Isn't he dead?" Jungkook asked. Seokjin looked quite shocked at the blunt question. Jungkook stuttered out more questions, explanations, "I-I mean-- his brain doesn't work or anything, right? He's just... dead?"

"Well. Yes." Seokjin said. "His brain shuts down when his heart does. He is... yes. Dead."

Jungkook nodded silently. Seokjin tried to comfort him, "But he's not.... He's-- he'll be alive. Don't think about it like that."

"How did you do it, hyung?" Jungkook asked. He'd been wondering for a long time-- how and why, but he didn't think he would get an answer for why, so he asked how instead, "How did you make him so human? How did you make him love me?"

"I, uh...." Seokjin hesitated to answer. "Well. I just gave him some, uh, some memories--"

"Who's memories?" Jungkook cut in. Seokjin looked extremely nervous now. His eyes were flicking around-- to the left, thinking, creating, "Well. I just-- I created some, you know. I made a software and I... gave him some thoughts. They're his memories, now."

"Were they someone else's?" Jungkook asked. Seokjin created again; he lied, "No. I just made them up."

"How could you do that? Wouldn't that take years?" Jungkook asked, and Seokjin nodded, "Yes. It did take years to create Jimin."

"What took the longest? His head?" Jungkook asked. Seokjin chuckled, "Surprisingly enough, it was his heart. It isn't his head that holds love-- it's his heart. He uses his mind to create. He uses his heart to remember."

"That's really beautiful, hyung." Jungkook smiled. Seokjin's expression was careful-- something was wrong, they could both tell. And Jungkook really didn't want to ask, but he had to, "Why? Hyung, why did you make him? I know you said you wanted me to love someone, but... I'm only in college. Do you think I need someone? Am I that dependant?"

Jungkook's voice was getting smaller as he spoke. Seokjin sighed. He began to speak in a way that he often did when it came to Jungkook-- to gentle, too careful. Jungkook cut him off before he could even process the first three words Seokjin had said, "Don't hold back, hyung. Please tell me the truth. Be blunt, if you have to."

"Yes. You're dependant, sometimes, but there's nothing wrong with that! I like taking care of you! Jimin... he likes taking care of you, too." Seokjin said.

"Did he tell you that?" Jungkook asked. Seokjin nodded. Jungkook didn't believe him, "But it isn't him, is it? It's you. Your memories, aren't they? Jimin told me once, that you shared your memories with him. I didn't really think about it until now. You love me, don't you, hyung?"

Seokjin stayed quiet. Jungkook picked up his phone and his bag with numb hands, slid off the chair and took a few steps back, "I'm-- I'm going home, hyung."

"Wait," Seokjin said, and Jungkook listened. Seokjin stood up, but he didn't walk forward. He didn't comfort Jungkook like he always would when he did something wrong. All he did was apologize, "I'm sorry, Jungkook."

"For what?" Jungkook asked. Seokjin looked so defeated, Jungkook almost felt guilty. He'd been so ignorant this whole time, he thought. He hadn't even realized. Why else would Seokjin make him someone to love? It only made sense that Jimin acted so much like Seokjin. It only made sense that Jungkook would love him so quick, would feel comfortable around him and miss him so quick. He was Seokjin-- with a different name, a different face, and a different body.

And suddenly, Jungkook felt betrayed by both of them.

"You don't have to fix him." Jungkook whispered. Seokjin looked shocked; Jungkook tried not to look at his face, "I'll be okay. Thanks, hyung, for trying."

"Wait--" Seokjin said again, and he reached out, too, but Jungkook didn't listen this time. He walked home, and he tried not to think. He didn't cry, like he thought he might, and he didn't feel angry, like he thought he might. He just felt confused, even though all the answers had been handed to him. And he wasn't even sure why, anymore.

So, he just walked; and he tried not to think about it.

A/N: STILL NOT GIVING UP I JUST REALLY FUCKING SUCK AT UPDATING
Also, I feel like Jungkook's character changed way too much this chapter; I'm sorry about that