The Physical Figment Of Thomas Blayton's Imagination

Remembering Grass and Wind

"No" Thomas cried out "no you're not real, you can't be" he curled his hands into fists, his nails biting into his palms. He clenched his teeth which made his jaw ache painfully "Go away, go away Sybella" his voice cracked into a whisper. It sounded like a old hand trying to play those sweet notes on a piano but falters, creating haunting cries.

"You know I can't Thomas" his name on her ice lips broke something deep inside him "Thomas" she stood in front of him like a ghost, the wind of the upcoming thunderstorm blowing her moon hair like a kite in flight. He couldn't take it anymore, wouldn't take it anymore. He shakily pulled himself up from the grassy hill, his knees buckling in the process and walked the few steps towards her. Her frozen blue eyes stared back at his dark hazel eyes. He felt his heart jump but forced himself not to think such thoughts that was in his head. But she was beautiful, beautiful in a cold kind of way. He felt that if he touched her, she would melt. He could feel her cold breath on his chin and shivered.

"Why are you here?" Thomas breathed roughly as if the air around him had disappeared.

"You know why Thomas, you're afraid. I appear when you're afraid" her voice was soft, painfully soft, almost heartbreaking.

"No I'm not afraid" his voice betrayed him though. He was scared, scared because of the mines and he didn't know why. Scared because he hadn't seen this woman for over six years, he was twelve when he last saw her. And in all that time she hadn't changed, hadn't aged. She was still the same Sybella he met all those years ago.

And he had forgotten her until now.

"I wouldn't be here if that was the case" ice cracked in her eyes, showing emotion that Thomas could not bare to see. She was broken, her eyes filled with sadness. She wasn't crying although the blue of her irises seemed to be leaking. He should have felt guilty but he didn't. He couldn't really feel a thing.

"Then where were you these past years? When I was afraid of going into high school or when my parents fought or when kids thought I was weird for having an imaginary friend or when everyone was and is still picking on my brother. Where were you?" His voice was loud against the sudden silence. He could hear the cry in his throat "where were you?"

"I was there" she said "I was always there. You ignored me so there was nothing I could do but wait until I disappeared again. I wanted to be there for you but-"

"Far out Sybella you're not even real!" He yelled "you don't even exist. You appear and disappear, that's not normal, I must be crazy" Thomas stumbled suddenly remembering the similar conversation he had with her all those years ago. Not again, he didn't want to re-live that conversation again. "I am crazy" he said with disbelief. He walked passed her, moving his shoulder in the process as to not make contact with her. He heard the shudder that escaped Sybella's mouth and he so desperately wanted to turn and embrace her but she was the one that hurt him all those years ago.

He walked a few paces before he heard her voice "I have been waiting all these years, waiting for you to care about me, care about my existence" he stopped walking, stopped breathing "but I guess I have to keep waiting"

"Sybella-" he turned slowly towards her and saw the smile and tears on her ice cold face.

"I felt so alone. No one except you knows about me. Do you know how it feels to exist in nothingness only existing in your mind? Do you know how it feels like to suddenly exist in a world where I can touch the grass between my toes and the wind across my face then being ripped out of that lovely world back into nothingness?" He didn't know what to say. She was still smiling.

"Why are you smiling like you are happy?"

"I'm not happy I'm preparing myself"

"For what?" He asked, his voice trembling. He already knew the answer. She was remembering the feeling of the grass between her toes and the wind across her face.