Wrong Path

Chapter 1

I see that the Tv is shut off. My grandmother must've turned it off during her morning routine of checking in on me.

I get out of bed and go into my bathroom.

"Where did I put it?" I ask myself looking for my small black pouch. Looking under the sink I find it.
I open it and see my opened box of Newports. I was running low.

I take one out making a mental note that there's only two left. Before I can light it and enjoy my morning smoke I light my "Champagne toast" candle from bath and body works and open my window.

With the morning brease filling my bathroom through the window and my cigarette in hand I finally feel a sense of relaxation.

I take long swiggs as I think about my mom. Usually it isn't THIS bad. I usually think about it every now and then but never all day...except this one.

It's her 33rd birthday. Another birthday that my family will have to go through without celebrating it with her.Another birthday that I have to go through without seeing her.Another birthday that I will have to feel the guilt of killing my own mother.

I take another puff of my cigarette. It was getting smaller as I thought about the day ahead.

I look in my mirror and sigh. My curls were everywhere and i knew it would take me forever to get them to look decent.

I take one last puff and flush my cigarette down the toilet. My grandmother would kill me if she knew I was smoking. With a day like this I don't see how she could cope without smoking anything.

Taking a deep breath I turn on the shower and prepare myself to continue to get ready for the day ahead.

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"Rayven are you ready?!" My grandmother yells up the stairs

"Yes here I come" I yell back as I put on the belt to my dress.

I grab my purse and shoes and walk down the stairs.

My grandmother wore a black shirt, grey blazer and grey pants, matched with gold accessories and black heels. I sighed. Sheblooked amazing but I could tell she was going to go to work after the cemetery and the restaurant.

I hate how she's always at work. Never home. She's getting older and I feel like she doesn't need all that money that shes trying to get. She needs to rest.

"You look beautiful" she says giving me a hug. I instantly relax in her warm comforting embrace. No one else can give me a hug as comforting as this one. I imagine that my mother would have given me hugs like this. The right amount of pressure, the occasional patting of the back and the smell I could only describe as...home. which makes me love my grandma's hugs even more

"Thank you grandma. you look beautiful as well."

"Thank you baby"

We let go and gather the rest of our things to head out.

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Once we arrive to Evergreen cemetery I take a chance to look at all the tombstones through the view of my car window. Some have tons of flowers both old and new. Others have maybe one or two roses,balloons and unlit candles...and then there are the ones who have nothing. No sign of any loved ones coning to see them. I make another mental note to visit more and when I do to make sure I bring something showing I love her.

We finally drive up to our section and I can already see my families car. We park and I unbuckle my seat belt. I stop in my tracks as I realize my grandmother hasn't turned off the car yet and has drifted off in deep thought. My heart breaks seeing her pain.