M.I.A.

Chapter 17

Someone yells my name.

And again. Back forth, back forth, like a rhythm of justice being pounded into her flesh.

Until strong hands grab me and drag me off. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

I know that voice, too, but I don't respond to it. Instead, I wriggle in his grasp, kicking at the air, trying to get to my target. "Stupid slut!" I scream. The voice doesn't sound like mine. But it feels good. More words come out, things I've never said before, and they drive her backward in a bloody-nosed, cow-eyed crab-walk.

I want to go after her. I want to beat every word into her face until she's branded with them—Scarlet Letter style.

Will pulls her to her feet. She stares at me, her giant brown eyes tear and her dumb little mouth begins to snivel. She looks so clueless, so stupidly innocent. What's she confused for? She knows she's a traitor, she knows what she's done.

"Calm down!" The voice holding me shakes his words into me.

I continue squirming, leaning toward her so she can see that I'm an avenging angel and she will not escape me. "It's your fault, you dumb bitch! It's all your fault!"

The person holding me drags me against him, shackles me against his chest with strong arms. It's then that I recognize him—by smell of all things. Chlorine and Axe, Mia used to come home smelling like this. John. The other half of Mia. And just like that, I start sobbing, but I don't give up. I claw at the air, trying to get to Tiana. "I'm gonna kill her! I hate her!"

So much hate. So much heat. Rabbit fast heart, lion desires. I could explode.

Tiana isn't even looking at me anymore. She's whimpering into Will's chest and he's fawning over her, his eyes glancing darkly in my direction.

"Get her out of here, would you?" John barks.

Will drags Tiana away, but I don't stop struggling. I'll find her, no matter what. I will make her pay.

"What's going on?" Nick's voice, shrill with concern, cuts through the startled voices around me, through the blood rushing in my ears and my snarling remarks.

Suddenly ashamed of myself, I bury my face in John's chest and hide from Nick. He wouldn't like me like this. This is not the girl he loves. This is an insane girl, an uncontrolled girl. A girl who has to make confessions to her therapist and get her meds changed. John's grasp on me loosens, his restraint becoming a hug. I always did like John. I always thought Mia was an idiot for leaving him.

"I don't know," John's saying, voice settled but confused. "First I'm waiting on customers and the next thing I know, Syd's flying like a bat out of hell and beating them up." His hand grips my shoulder. "What's wrong with you?"

I shake my head against his shoulder, still sobbing and hiccupping. "You-you don't understand."

He sighs and his muscles ease a little around me. "What don't I understand?"

See? This is why I like John. He's wicked patient and he's always seen me and talked to me. I sob into his neck, unwilling to turn around and face Nick's disappointment. "It's-it's her fault. It's all her fault," I whimper.

Another sigh from John. "Come on."

He drags me back to the picnic area and plops me at a new table. I can sense Nick perching on my other side, can feel his anxious eyes on me. John must sense Nick's needs because his body dissolves only to be replaced by Nick's. Nick's arm slips across my shoulder and he's my big teddy bear again. I twine my arms around him and hide against the world. "I'm sorry," I whisper, trying to ignore how his hand is examining my leg, which I've reopened and caused to bleed again in my frenzy. "I don't know what came over me."