In A Box

November - 12, One Year Since The Accident

...

"Jonas, can you wake up Jimmy," my mom yells up the stairs, I yell down a quick reply and nudge Jimmy, I didn't sleep after I walked into Jimmy's room. I stayed quiet and listened to the sounds.
"Is it morning already?" Jimmy says tiredly, I nod and help him get up, I lift him into his wheelchair, and find some clothing for the day.
"I can dress myself," Jimmy says, that's the one thing I have always loved about Jimmy, so adamant about doing things for himself, not letting the accident change him at all mentally.
"Okay," I should tell him that I'd do it and be a good big sister, but for him being a good big sister was letting him do things for himself.
I open up the door and stand outside Jimmy's room trusting him to call me if he needs anything, I can tell he is done getting dressed by the thump hitting the door, I open up the door to find he ran into it on his wheelchair again.
The hardest part about Jimmy's wheelchair is getting him down the stairs, since we live on just my moms income we can't afford to move, therefore we make this work with stairs.
I lift Jimmy up out of his wheelchair and carry him down the stairs, the doctor said that with proper surgery Jimmy might be able to walk again, but out family can't afford surgery, we are all pitching in, mom puts some of her money from working in, I mow lawns around the neighborhood, and Jimmy well he sells lemonade at the curb.
I place Jimmy down in the chair by the stairs and walk back up to get his wheelchair, when I finally finish bringing it all down I walk back up to get changed.
I open the door to my room, and go look through my closet for something that's semi-decent, of course all of my clothing is from goodwill, we aren't poor we just need to save a lot of money for Jimmy's surgery so we cut expensive clothing from our budget.
I finally find a pair of skinny jeans, they have a hole in the knee but it will do, and a T-shirt, it's a plain black shirt with nothing on it, it's a little big but it works for me.
I change into the clothing and walk out of my room, when I get downstairs for the third time today I see Jimmy eating a waffle.
"Mom made waffles," Jimmy says excited, he loves it when Mom makes her waffles, she used to be a chef at a breakfast place but when they went out of business she got a desk job. I still hope that maybe one day she will be able to get a job at a resteraunt again.
I sit down in front of my plate, I'm not really hungry but Mom has a rule that if you don't eat, you don't get TV, and you can't leave the house, I pick up my knife and start cutting the waffle.
I am halfway through when Jimmy finishes, he talked the whole time about his friends and how they are going to see some movie. I wasn't really paying attention.
"So Jonas, how are your friends?" My mom asks, I don't remember if she knows Hunter committed suicide last month or not, I don't want to tell her if she doesn't, other than him I never really had any friends, after the accident the whole school started treating me like a freak show.
"Good," I say with a mumble not wanting to discuss this topic any further.
Of course she doesn't know Hunter is dead, that he slit his own throat with a kitchen knife at midnight last month, of course she doesn't know that Hunter had his funeral and I was never invited, of course she doesn't know that I sneak out of the house to visit his grave still.
Hunter always wanted to be cremated, he wanted his ashes spread amongst the flowers in my front yard, he had always loved them, I still remember when he was alive, when he told me what he wanted to happen if he died.
"What happens after you die?" I asked him, it was a cold winter day but our flowers still bloomed and were still beautiful.
"Jonas why would you ask that?" Hunter responds, I shrugged my shoulders and he proceeds to answer my question, "in all honesty I don't know, it depends on what you believe in."
"What do you believe in?" I asked him.
"I believe that things happen for a reason, and if someone was out there watching us maybe the world would be one people would rather live in than visit the creator," he responds.
"What do you want to happen after you die?" I asked.
"I want to be cremated, my ashes spread out in front of my house, and yours so no one will ever forget me. I want to live with plants, help them grow, they've kept me alive this long." He responded.
I never thought much of his answer, I never thought that he would rather meet whoever was out there than stay here, stay here with me, I never thought much of how easily he answered the question of what he wanted to happen after he died, some days I want to dig up his ashes and fulfill his wish, let him rest with the plants.
"Jonas, help Jimmy get his jacket on," my mom yells, I look past her shoulder and see Jimmy struggling to put on his jacket, I rush over and help him, finally once it's zipped up we race to the bus stop.
By we race to the bus stop of course I meant, I ran next to his wheelchair while he went as fast as he could.