Unanswered - Ashton Irwin Fanfiction

Letter 8

"You're gonna wanna see this," Calum said as Luke and Michael entered the back lounge of the bus. "Shut the door," he instructed, not wanting to be overheard.

Michael and Luke sat on either side of Calum, leaning over him to read the paper in his hand. "Oh no," Luke sighed, finishing first. Michael sat back, deep in thought.

"Do we - do we tell him?" Calum asked quietly, looking from Michael to Luke with concern.

"Of course not," Michael said simply, "It'll kill him." He looked to Luke, hoping to hear him agree.

"Well, he has a right to know," Luke mumbled. He bit his lip as he thought about the complicated situation.

"I knew you'd say that," Michael sighed. "He was just starting to forget about her, though."

"No he wasn't," Calum confessed, "He's been writing to her." He looked up at Michael to see his reaction, not surprised to find confusion. "That's what the therapist told him to do, but she hasn't answered."

"He can't know," Michael said firmly.

"He'll find out sooner or later," Luke pointed out.

"Later is better," Michael insisted.

"I think he should find out from us," Luke sighed, resting his head in his hands as he weighed the pros and cons of Ashton knowing. "Calum?" He turned to his friend holding the little envelope.

Calum reread the note, although he was certain he had not misread it the first time. "We should tell him," Calum agreed. Michael sighed, sitting back in defeat. "Should we all tell him?"

Deep in thought, the three of them failed to notice the door sliding open. "I think it should be all of us," Luke voiced, "Ashton needs the support."

"Support for what?" Ashton asked, looking at his three friends in a line on the couch. They stared up at him guiltily, and his stomach instantly felt uneasy. "What's going on?" He asked, starting to panic.

Calum and Michael both turned to Luke, hoping he would be able to handle this. "Um, uh, don't freak out," Luke instructed.

"Tell me what's happening," Ashton begged, a thousand ideas running through his head.

"Sit down," Michael directed. Ashton obeyed, taking a seat next to Luke, although he could barely stay still. "We need you to promise that you won't overreact, alright?"

"Tell me what it is," Ashton repeated, hardly able to think straight.

"Just don't do anything rash," Michael added slowly.

"Tell me," Ashton pleaded. Luke and Michael turned their eyes to the small envelope in Calum's lap. Following their eyes, Ashton found the envelope. His heart dropped into his stomach. Could it be from Dakota? Calum took a deep breath and handed the envelope to Ashton, watching apprehensively as he read.

It was addressed to 5 Seconds of Summer. Would Dakota have written to all of them?

The return address was in Seattle. That's Dakota, alright.

With shaking hands Ashton pulled the paper out of the envelope. It was smaller than a normal letter, written on a nice lavender card. He opened the card, skipping the writing on the front. Upon opening it, he caught sight of the picture inside and felt his world fall around him.

The letter fell from his hands. His heart felt as if it had fallen from its place in his chest and shattered across the pit of his stomach. His stomach, on the other hand, felt as if it was all coming up - he wanted to throw up. His head spun. Was it cold in here or was it just him? He barely noticed the shaking of his hands. He barely noticed his breathing grow heavy and labored. It wasn't until he felt Luke's hand on his back that he jumped up, out of his spiraling thoughts and into reality. His legs gave way underneath him as he sank to the ground beside the letter.

He reached out a clammy, trembling hand and picked up the letter, now reading the writing on the front. In neat, cursive typing it read, "Save the Date."

"No," Ashton murmured, shaking his head numbly. He opened the card and sat staring unblinkingly at the picture inside.

It was Dakota. There she was. Was she happy? She looked happy. Who was she with? He looked happy, too. He was handsome - a strong jaw, a winning smile. He was nothing compared to Dakota. She was clearly settling, Ashton thought. Her hair flowed over her shoulder as the man hugged her from behind. She was laughing, her pink lips curved into a perfect smile. Her green eyes were bright, the edges crinkled from laughter. She was small compared to the man with her. Was he an athlete? He was definitely strong - stronger than Ashton. Yes, she looked happy.

Ashton tore his eyes from the picture to read on, although nothing registered as reality in his mind. 'We're engaged,' the note read. It contained a date, four RSVP cards, each with the option for a plus one. A plus one? How could she think he would have a plus one? How could she think he would have moved on? How had she moved on?

"Ashton?" He heard from far away. He looked up with a start, surprised to see Luke, Calum and Michael still on the couch. "Are you - are you alright?" Calum asked hopefully.

"I'm -" he couldn't even manage the lie. He opened his mouth, but ended up just shaking his head. His mouth felt so dry. His body felt so weak.

"Do you, uh, need anything?" Luke asked, eyeing him with concern.

Again Ashton shook his head. "C-can I be alone?" He asked quietly. His friends hesitated, but agreed, leaving the room.

Ashton sat, unable to get up. He felt physically and emotionally exhausted. He stared at the picture, wondering what this man had that he did not. His name must be somewhere on the card, but Ashton didn't want to know it. He didn't want to know any of this. He wondered what their story was. Where had they met? Where was their first kiss? Did he like to hug her as much as Ashton had? Did he tickle her feet? Did he make her laugh until she cried? Ashton felt he was going to be sick.

He noticed vaguely that she looked different, although it took him quite some time to place the difference. She was so proper. There was no sand in her hair, no tan line from hours at the beach, no freckles that Ashton found so adorable, although Dakota had always tried to hide them. There was something else. She seemed so much older. How old was she? Eighteen? Nineteen now? She's so young. Why is she getting married so early? How long have they been together? It can't have been very long. It wasn't even a year ago that Ashton met her on the beach.

Ashton dropped the card, unable to look at it any longer. He shut his eyes, but all he could see was the picture. She was happy. He had wanted her to be happy. But she was happy with someone else. How could she be happy with someone else? What about him?

This was not the response he had been hoping for.