Toys of a Dangerous Mind-{Winner of Undiscovered, Watty Awards 2011} Under Edit

Chapter 23

I was broken. A toy played with too often- finally destroyed. Why did everything happen to me? I had gone through so much in my life and I was only seventeen. It was ironic, that Raxis was still the one who broke me. Through his servant- unintentially, in fact. But I didn't know if I could take anymore. Everyone was looking up to me, to be their leader for the Fifth Stage- to guide them, to the escape. 

I didn't know if I could do it. Earlier, Liam had dropped off a slim piece of paper: the directions for the next Stage. I had thought, why me? Couldn't he see that I was damaged? Couldn't he see that I was not in any position to lead? At the time, I had stared at him, mutely, and mentally wished him to go. He had tried to kiss me, but I couldn't bear his lips against mine. 

Too late. Liam had come too late. It was cruel of me to judge him so, but it was afterwards, only afterwards, where he had come for me. After Ryan had ripped my body apart, after Ryan reduced me to a ball of tears. And, what had I done for Liam? I had saved his life, brought him back from the dead. I had gone through hell and back, just for him. But, he had been too late. 

Tears overcame me and I sobbed as I remembered everything. The harsh, burning kisses- the terrible screams, tears that fell quickly, staining the sheets. And, hopeless begging, and cries for Liam. My cries, my tears. A part of me had died, the strong Danielle, the Danielle that fights. She had slipped away from me, like water through my fingers. And I didn't know if I wanted her back. 

My life was tainted with Ryan's foul touch, my mind was desecrated with memories of him. Broken....destroyed.....marked forever. I had lost so much. 

"Danielle?" A soft, enquiring voice seeped through my thoughts. Who was it? I turned slowly. As I had lost myself in my mind, I had forgotten where I was. My room. The nurse had told me that I could go. So, I had walked to this room, the floor still splattered with the red of my blood. 

"Danielle?" Again, the voice said. I re-focused, and the sharp image of Renae appeared. Her face was blotchy and red, and tearstains were prominent on her face. I softened under her gaze, and tried to smile, to comfort her, that I was alright. But, I wasn't alright. The smile was a ghastly attempt at the real thing, and was placed uncomfortingly on my face. 

"Please talk to me," she begged. "You've ignored me for days, and I need you Danielle. You're my best friend."

Days? I hadn't even noticed Renae in days. Had days really passed? A pang of guilt struck through me, as Renae stood, pleading in front of me. Tears now running freely down her face. 

"Sit with me," I said slowly, gesturing at the space next to me. She nodded, and got next to me, hugging her knees. 

"I'm sorry for what you had to go through, Danielle," she quietly said. "And, I just wanted to tell you, that if anyone knows what you're going through, it's me."

I had forgotten. Renae had been through this before, she had been....taken advantage of. Just. Like. Me. Seeing the dying look in her eyes, as Renae recalled the memory- something compelled me to ask,

"Was it someone you knew?"

She stiffened, and I suddenly knew. It was.

"Yes," she whispered, her voice shaking. "It was...my...my-"

She could go no further an avalanche of tears flooded down her cheeks. Her shoulders were shaking with sorrow, and I sat there, pathetically, by her side. I raised a hand and tried to soothe her, rubbing her back, and whispering to her, that it was alright.

"I'm so sorry for asking," I apologised. Taking a deep breath, Renae calmed ragged breaths and said four words. 

"It was my best friend." Her words chilled me to the bone.