Poems, my Expression

She Hopes

Years go past her
People come, they go
Her life and of those around her move fast in flashes
She stands still,
Refusing to move

Every new day
She tells herself "today it is going to be different"
But it never is, wakes the next day repeating the same
The sun sets, the moon rises
Her day begins

Tired of it all, she says,
"Today I start anew"
But she can't seem to
She dwells in the past,
Living the life she lived years ago

Memories of her past
Hold her hostage
What happens right this moment
Slips through her finger tips
She hates herself for loving it

She is terrified
She is overjoyed
She is miserable
She bursts into tantrums
She is still a child

Too good, she means no harm
Too horrible, she means to harm
Battling with her messed up self
Whoever wins, whoever loses
She is still lost

She no longer knows what is normal
Seeing the people around her,
She longs for a normal life
Live her life, how she likes
Not relive the life lived

Cartoons and drawing, her escape
Escape from the inevitable reality
Stays awake at night
She is all alone,
She finds herself Living

Pity the child inside her
Fear the monster that lies beneath
Impeccable outside, people love her
The Mayhem inside tears her apart
And wounds her soul

Hope people appreciate her effort,
To stay sane
Too fragile, she breaks inti thousand little pieces
Too strong, she builds herself up again
She never gives up

Inner peace is a daydream
She tries to master it
Her made up master teaches her
It helps temporarily
She then awaits the next blow

Could she be the person she wants to be?
If so, who does she wants to be?
Have some peace in her mind?
Be present in the present?
Would she ever feel normal?

One day, She hopes...

(Hafsa Hameed)