'Merc With A Heart?' (Deadpool x Reader) [ DISCONTINUED ]

'Panic.'

I storm out of the building, holding my box of now useless work items. I almost fall over from walking so quickly across the street, tripping on my own heel.
"Oh I'm so throwing these away." I grunt angrily. Once I finally reached the sidewalk, I turned to an alleyway and sighed. I hate alleys. They're so cliche, but conveniently, it's a short cut to my apartment.
I stumble down the alley, peeking behind me as I walk. Eeek! I jump and almost drop the box. I whirl around to a rat scrambling to a trash can.
"Stupid rat!" I yell. I fix my dress strap and continue walking. I finally reach the end of the alley. But it didn't lead to my apartment, instead, there was a brick wall in place of it. Huh? I swore this was it! Did I take the wrong alley?!? I groan before turning back around. All that for nothing.
A clash of what must've been pots and pans sounded from the left of me. I turn carefully and squint. I catch a glimpse of a figure in the dark window. What was that, I thought, maybe I can find out if I just...
I set my box to the side and use it as my stool. Placing my annoying heels on top of it, I try reaching for the window sill. I'm too short... I think to myself. My fingers could just barely reach it. I step off and stack another random box on top of mine. Stepping carefully back on, I could reach the window sill easily. Yes! I think, now what is all that racket?
I painfully climb into the window as my heels dig into the back of my foot. The room was dark. It didn't look anything close to interesting. There were just boxes and cluttered random clutter laying around. I throw my head back in agony.
"Oh cmon! All that for this j-" I pause fearfully as a bunch of banging around sounds from a kitchen door in front of me. I didn't notice it before...
I carefully step forwards, my heart beating faster and faster. My breath, the loud cries, the bangs, everything making my body tense. I bend down and avoid the small circular window. Once I reach it, I slowly rise to the window and peek inside.
Inside there was a white tiled kitchen with more boxes. On the floor against the wall, a beaten man sat on the floor and he was yelling.
"Please! Please, please! Let me go! Let me go! I'll do anything!" The man yells.
Then, my eyes widen to see a tall muscular person in a black and red spandex costume. There were weapons and tons of ammo across attached to utility belts across the whole body. Two katanas crossed the person's back. The figure pulled one sword from his back and swung it around his wrist.
"Anything?" The suited man repeated. The beaten man put his hands together and cried out,
"Yes! Yes! Anything!"
"Can you make chimichangas?" The other man asks oddly. I cock my head to the side to the peculiar man.
"Well...no, but wait-" the pleading man cried. He got on his knees. The man in the costume walked closer to the weary man.
"Awe man! What a shame. Eh, you'll get over it." He said. Then the armed man shoved the blade between the dreadful man's eyes. I felt myself cringe. Blood squirted everywhere and soon, the man fell over, dead and silent. The man leaned down and yanked at the katana's handle. "What a mess! Ngh! You've got a thick head."
I scream a little before stopping myself with my hand.
The man in the mask quickly turns towards the door. His mask was red and had rounded black diamonds around the white eyes.
I ducked so fast that I scared myself from my own movement. The man stood and pulled the blade from the man's skull, with him. He started for the door. "Come out, come out, come out little birdie!" He said playfully.
I scrambled to hide behind a stack of boxes. I cover my mouth and try not to breath loudly. Tears roll down my cheeks. My sobs silence when I hear the door creak open. I frantically look around for an escape route. None.
"Predictable." He says, kicking down the boxes with his pistol ready. He leans back as he takes a good look at me. I fall on my butt and back away. "Listen, sweetheart. You've got to find a better place hide! Lucky for you, I know a place in my bedroom you could check out." He was flirting with me! Flirting with me. How could he be flirting with me at a time like this!?!
"You're psycho!" I scream. I stand up and back away. He walks closer to me and throws his gun behind him.
"You bet I am, baby. Especially in bed." He says flirtatiously. He pushes me back into the corner with his hands gripping firmly on my shoulders.
"This isn't a joke! You just- just murdered that man!" I yell.
"Oh yeah, it's just a habit. I'm used to it, don't worry." He says. I boil up with anger.
"A habit?!? You're a freak!" I say crossly. I throw a box at him, but he ducks quickly.
"Woah woman! You're the freak." He shouts. It's like he's enjoying this. I scowl. Then he pushes me against the wall again. I look down to see that he switched his grip to my breasts! I can't believe this! What a prick! "C'mon, why can't two freaks get freaky, huh?" He joked. Maybe? I started to cry and fell to my knees.
"Wait... Are you crying? Awe don't cry. I was only kidding. I didn't know you were a virgin." He said reassuringly. It wasn't, at all though. I started crying harder. He really knows how to make things better.
"I'm not a virgin, you spaz!" I hiss. I sob with my head in my knees. He gets down on one knee and puts a hand on my shoulder.
"I really scared you, huh?" He shook his head and looked at me. "Hey, look at me," He paused and shifted, "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you. You've changed my mind." He says. I look up at him and relax myself a little, knowing that hopefully I'll live today.
"Which is, let me remind you, very rare for me. C'mon, get up, I'll take you home." He offers his hand. I don't take it and get up myself.
"I'll get home just fine by myself, thanks." I say before quickly turning to the door.
"Wait," I pause but don't look at him, "Why were you in an alley in the first place?" He asked curiously. I rubbed my arms and left with just the slightest grin that I hid from him, on my face.