Flashback

Proguloge

September 21 2016, 32 years old
When the day started I sat at my desk, hopeful to get work done. I had a strange feeling in my chest. Why? These past few day have been lovely for me, why couldn't I bring myself to that desk. I knew why, there is a very serious reason for me not going over there. It's because of her. Thrown off by the sudden fear I rest assured sitting in the living quarters of my home would be calming, quite small it was. Heh, small, reminds me of a small potato like someone I used to know...... I turned my head slightly mesmerized by a picture hanging the wall, she was beautiful. I turned my head away not daring to look any longer knowing I wouldn't be able to hold myself together. I needed to write her a letter one last time. I picked up the pen she gave me so long ago, just thinking about it gives me a pain in my heart. Staring at the paper I realized I may need a white-out so I opened the second desk to the right only to find a something that will haunt me forever.

Flashback 4 months ago
Sobbing I clutched our picture that my brother took of us when we were fourteen years old. Tears soaked my shirt as I roamed the kitchen throwing all the utensils out of my way not caring of the massive mess I was making. Finally a slight smile made its way to my face as I found it, taking a strong hold of my knife held it up to my chest ready to plunge it into my already broken heart, ready to see Lilith again. I tried to put the knife through my flesh but.. I couldn't do it. I dropped the knife on the floor and slowly slid down the cabinets with knees tucked in my chest and my head in my hands and continued to drown my sorrow in tears.....I was never the same.

End of flashback
It felt like I was staring at the knife for ages before slowly picking it up in my hands.

..Shall I do it?