Nepenthe

Word Count: 335

No matter how far apart we are, I never want to leave. No matter how much it hurts, I never want it to end. We're not what we once were, and I'm sure it'll never be the same again, but I'll continue walking this Earth if he's here. I'll follow him to Hell and back if it means that we can be together.

I've killed people, and I'd do it again if it meant his safety, but that makes me no different from her. He detests her, no, he loathes her. Then.. does he hate me, too? No.. it wouldn't make sense for him to. But.. nothing makes sense to me anymore. I understand absolutely nothing anymore.

She's my friend! Wh-where is she now?! Off with her lover?!? I-it's my fault, though. I'm the one that doesn't talk to her, I'm the one who avoids her. Why is that?

Oh, that's right.

Because he's with her.

He who brings me joy, even if it may not seem like he does. Every day is a struggle, but I get to see him every day. Him even existing balances out all the heartache I constantly feel.

He remembers me, he remembers the Second World, yet he's never approached me. What did his last moments mean to him? They meant a lot to me, they mean everything to me. Doesn't he love me? No, he'll never love a monster like me.

But he tolerates her, so he must've forgiven her, right? What about me?!? Love me! Hold me, PROTECT ME!!

I-It doesn't matter.. As long as- as long as I get to be near him, as long as I can continue to watch him, it doesn't matter. If I can live the rest of my life beside him, even if he doesn't realise - no, he'll realise - then it's okay. As long as I can love him, as long as he takes the pain away, it'll be okay. As long as he acts as my nepenthe.