FED UP

(ch.1)August 16th, 2015

"Hey babe, whatcha doing?"

"Cooking me something to eat "

"Don't you mean "us" ?"

"Nope"

"Sidney stop playing all the time"
Jerome said walking towards me in the kitchen.

"I'm not playing, I haven't seen you in three days but yet you wanna come up in here like everything is all good expecting me to have food for you to put in your mouth so you can get full and leave again? I don't think so!"

"Look Ma, you need to chill. I told you I was out handling some business so I can take care of you"

"What business Jerome? Huh?" I asked him folding my arms across my chest and shifting my weight to my right foot.

"I told you I package for a  Company" he said raising his voice getting annoyed.

I go through this all the time with him. He constantly coming in 2 and 3 days after the  last time I see him. He says he has a job but we been together for  6 months and I know nothing about this "job".

" What goods do you pack? What company do you work for?" Does this so-called job of yours require you to be gone days at a time Jerome?" I asked him cocking my head to the side.

"Look Sid you don't need to know all that just know that I got you. You always worried about what I'm doing and how I'm getting my money. As long as I'm getting it why does it matter how?"

"Oh you got me? Thats funny because you haven't done anything for me since we been together, you're barely around me but you got me?"

He didn't say anything but looked at me like I wasn't speaking English so I continued.

"Jerome you only think about yourself and the only time I see you is when you're hungry or need a bed to sleep in and someone to lay up with when no one else wants to deal with you. You always talking about the money you making but you and I both know that is dirty money. Did you really think I was stupid enough not to figure that out? Think again."

I left that as the last thing I had to say to him before I turned back around to turn my spaghetti off and get the garlic bread out of the oven. Jerome came up behind me grabbing my waist and turning me to face him.

"Sidney baby I'm sorry. I was just trying to protect you. I'm sorry that I'm not here all of time. I'm sorry that I make you feel used. I'm sorry that I'm a sorry excuse for a man.  I don't know how to be like these other guys out here. I don't know how to show love and affection. I don't know how to care for you like I should. When I was young no man ever treated my moms right but instead bought her material things. I know she wont happy all the time but when she received those gifts she seemed happy to me. That is the only way I know how to make you happy so I stay on my grind so I can get you nice things."

I was silent for a moment before I sighed and looked into his eyes     " Jerome its not about the material things. Those are the things you can't take with you when you leave this world. What is that going to do for me? Time is what you cant get back. That's all I want is for You to spend time with me, show me that you want this to work." I explained to him grabbing his hand in mine.

He cleared his throat before speaking " I'm sorry but I cant do what you're asking me to do right now. I'm in the game and I gotta do what I gotta do, ain't no backing out. I do want this to work but I just can't make you happy by giving you what you want right now. Give me time baby I can be a better person one day but not today and not soon." The look in his eyes showed that he did want something good out of this relationship but I just cant be involved with him and what he has going on. I don't have time to be waiting on one man to better himself when I can just find one who already has the close to perfect package.

"Jerome I care about you I really do and I'm glad that you actually want this to work but I can't wait for you to get your mess together. I'm not going to wait around for you to get out the game when you want to or when it's convenient for you. I'm giving you a chance now to fix this but since you don't want to I don't know what to tell you. What I am going to say is I don't want this relationship to continue when nothing is going to change. We should just go our separate ways and you also need the time to figure yourself out so that you can be better for the next woman." 

He rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. "Are you serious right now? " he asked me in disbelief. I just nodded and looked down to avoid the face he was making. I could feel him staring a hole into my head. "I'm sorry " I mumbled. " I need to do whats best for me and you need to do whats best for you. You need to become a better person and I need to find someone who will make me happy and in this relationship I'm not happy." I finally looked up at him to see that his eyes started to water. I never saw him get emotional before. Our bond wasn't close enough for him to actually be hurt by this. I actually thought he would just brush it off like he did anything else. Maybe all of his emotions aren't coming from this, maybe he has other things on his mind. I didn't realize how long we were just staring at each other until he cleared his throat and stepped away without saying anything. He jogged up the stairs and a few minutes later he came back with the few belongings he had here. He threw his bag over his shoulder and walked over to me. He just looked at me for a few seconds before he kissed me and told me he was sorry He couldn't make me happy.

**END OF CH 1 TELL ME HOW I CAN IMPROVE AND WHAT YOU GUYS THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT!😊**I will release the next part when PayPal donations reach $10(Link is in bio!)