Call or Delete

five

harry wakes up instantly, his heart pounding against his chest. he didn't have a nightmare or anything, just one of those dreams where you're falling, then wake up.

he looks around the room, the first thing he notices is that louis isn't in the bed, or the room. the comforter on his side of the bed is pushed to the side. even though it's now been three weeks since louis' nan died, he still gets worried, and jumps from the bed. last time louis broke down was scary for both of them.

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harry walks upstairs in louis' flat. he had been upstairs in his flat before. there's only his bedroom, a bathroom, and a smaller spare bedroom, up there. his place isn't big, but it isn't too small. it's perfectly functional and spacious enough for two people anyway.

louis isn't in his bedroom, yet the door is unlocked, which is something louis never does if he's not home. so he peeks in the spare bedroom, then bathroom, where he finds him sitting on top of the small counter, squished between the wall and sink.

he's been constantly checking up on him. it's only been a few days, and his nan was louis' second mother in his life. with his dad gone and his mum working all the time to keep up with things. so he knows louis' definitely going to be fragile to handle. he doesn't want something happening to him.

"lou?" he asks softly, leaning against the door frame. louis turns his head the tiniest bit, but keeps his eyes out the window. harry stalks up behind him, and slides his hand onto the mans hip. "what're you doin?" he mumbles.

louis leans into his touch a bit, "counting the cars that go by," harry can barely hear him, "uhm, i don't know what to do and I don't know how to handle this so i'm counting cars," his voice breaks, and he feels as though he's going to start sobbing, "and you lost my place."

harry frowns, "i... i'm sorry, babe."

louis doesn't say anything for a minute. he sits there with harry's hand caressing his hip. "harry i need you to leave, please," his lip is trembling, but harry can't see that, "because i need to cry and throw things and be crazy for a long moment and cry myself to sleep for once and i can't do it with you here," his voice gets high. harry can tell he's crying.

"louis. you can't handle this by yourself," he starts.

louis leans out of his touch, "please!" he exclaims, "please harry leave! i need to be alone!" he lowers his voice, feeling bad that he just yelled at harry, who has been so so perfect through this.

harry just nods though. a still nod as he takes a step back out of the bathroom. then two more, and all the way until he's out of the house. he waits outside in his car though. he doesn't dare leave. if louis does something to himself and he's not close enough to help than he'll hate himself.

the second louis hears the front door shut he lets out a loud wail, and his head falls to the side against the wall. he cries and cries, and after a time he goes into his room, tugging the sheets off the bed angrily and throws a book onto the ground. a few others fall off the shelf with the force he pulls it with. he pushes his work things off his desk, throwing down the chair as well. he takes stumbling steps, tugging at his hair and letting a long scream escape him. then, breaking down some more, he falls onto the ground in the mess of pillows and blankets and sheets. he lays there, curled up and sobbing horribly.

meanwhile, harry is outside. it's been twenty minutes, and knowing louis, he needs to get back inside. so he does. he does it quietly, and when he hears louis upstairs he goes up, not surprised at all when seeing the mess in the room. he sinks down besides the crying man and pulls him onto his lap, in his arms.