The Carousel

Dix-sept

"Babe, you need to get a pregnancy test and make sure," he said softly. "This just isn't a good time for this to happen, babe."

She looked Jared in the eyes and became silent. He didn't seem excited at all. He wasn't the only one not ready for a child; she was still in the middle of fulfilling her dreams, just like him. She was scared to death of the possibility just as much as him; the only difference was, she would make herself ready if she was expecting. She was saddened that Jared might not feel the same way, that he really did not want to be a father at all.

"I will. You know what, Jay, you're not the only one with so much to lose, okay? I'm not even sure yet, I just wanted to tell you because I am frightened; I needed your support. I needed to hear you say everything was going to be okay, but I guess I was wrong."

"Ames..."

"Jay, I just came to that conclusion because it was the most obvious. I didn't want to think that it could be something other than that, okay?"

"Babe, I'm sorry. Please, it's just that you're in a different continent, we're both busy with our careers...I just want you to be sure."

"I'll let you know," she said coldly. "Just so you know, I'm not ready to be a mother, either."

"Ames..."

She hung up on him and cried into her hands. She heard her phone ring and ring, but she just turned it off completely. She loved him, and she knew he loved her, but his reaction was not one she saw coming.

Jared raked a hand over his hair. He'd been dialing Ondine's number for the last ten minutes but it just kept going to voicemail. So far he'd left ten messages and just as many text messages. He was only 22, she just turned 23; he wasn't ready to be a father. But he knew Ondine had it all wrong. His parents raised him better than to turn away from responsibility. He may not be ready for fatherhood, but he knew what special gifts children were; his mom had fertility issues of her own before Emily Jane came into the picture. But his lifestyle now didn't work to include a child; he just wanted to make sure before he did a whole life overhaul. He was willing to give up a lot of things for Ondine, but dropping the band just when they were skyrocketing to fame was not an option. He didn't want to come off as a total ass, but he knew that that's exactly what he looked like right now to the woman he loved. He dialed her one more time and left yet another voicemail. 

*** 

Brady waited a few minutes before Ondine finally opened the door to her apartment. She was still in her pajamas, a robe loosely tied around her waist, her hair in disarray, her face tear stained. She only opened the door a crack to talk to Brady. 

"Ames? You okay?" 

"I'm gonna have to skip rehearsal today. I'm feeling a bit under the weather...a stomach bug or something." 

"Do you need anything?" 

"No, I already called in sick. I have a doctor's appointment later, so I'll be okay." 

"I can take you." 

"We can't both be absent," she gave him a wry smile. 

"You don't look like you're in any shape to be taking public transportation. I'll just call in, too and meet you back here. What time's your appointment?" 

"In an hour. I was just about to get ready when you knocked. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner." 

"That's okay. I've been calling your phone, but it goes straight to voicemail." 

"Oh, yeah...battery drained," she lied. "It's charging now." 

"Okay, you get ready. I'll be back in half an hour."