Elliot Granger stumbles through grieving for her mother and dealing with her temporary family. Convinced that life is impossible for everyone, Elliot takes pictures of interactions rather than having them herself. After weeks of attending a group th...
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My cell phone buzzed and lit up for the fourth time. In response to this, I shoved the phone between the sofa cushions as I turned up the television. A part of me was hiding, that I knew, but I wasn't quite sure what I was hiding from.
"Turn that down!" Joan's voice cut through the adjoining rooms and lodged itself directly in the center of my head.
Somehow seeing Amelia's banana-soaked face made me only capable of smelling turned yogurt.
I said nothing and turned the television exactly one notch lower. Once I sunk into the overstuffed purple sofa, I felt the phone buzz again.
For the first time, I was avoiding Pete.
I kept asking myself why. But, not a single honest answer presented itself. I mean, I knew the basics: at least one thing was different, and I didn't want to face it. I had experienced enough change already to have plenty of good reason to avoid any further variations of my life. The Christmas tree in the corner of the living room pulled at my nerves and the retaining wall to a mess of emotions that I also didn't want to face. Dante fought with Katrina on the tv as my mind restlessly thought about Lincoln. Dark curls and a smile that warned trouble is a much more pleasant thought process than where my mind had been recently traveling. The million different ways I thought about Lincoln added to me not wanting to talk to Pete, but it wasn't all of it.
I felt something twice about Pete I had never felt before. I wasn't used to being jealous when other girls threw themselves at him, and I certainly wasn't used to getting a queasy feeling when he touched me. I couldn't lose Pete, but I couldn't pull him in totally either—a new thing for us.
I saw Pete, and I felt my mom. We were two broken families merged together, and now somehow I feel like I was floating out into unprotected space even though I could clearly see Pete and his mother trying to pull me in. My head was too much of a mess to truly trust my own thoughts. This was another thing troubling me.
Why do all I want to do is run?
Brian plopped his full weight onto the sofa with all his might, "Whatcha watching?"
My little brother looked at me with eyes that once twinkled with possibility but now dimmed with the harsh reality of life much too soon. I wished with my entire self I could protect him from the unkindness of life. But, I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't even protect myself.
"The New Life with Amy."
"What's it about?"
"Nothing you need to worry about." I flipped on the guide with my thumb. "Wanna watch Trik Yo Crew?"
Brian's eyes light up, "Will you watch it with me?"
"Definitely." I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him into me. Anytime I had Brian in my arms I asked myself if I was doing enough. Did my responsibilities as his older sister change now that our mom was gone? Was I screwing up just like Glen, but couldn't see it because it's me and not him?
