When I Was Young|GerIta

Introduction

When I was younger, I remembered it all...

I remembered my friend had to go somewhere with his mother. It was around the time his father died. I remembered his last words for me. I love you Felinciano! After he said that, he kissed me on the lips and walked away. That was my first kiss. That was his last words for me. After he went somewhere with his mother I was waiting for a long time.

A month passed and they had confirmed that my friend and his mother had been confirmed dead. The word dead had been in my mind ever since that day. I wish I could see him, but I can't! If I die I know he won't forgive me and I know he wouldn't like it either I know he wants me to move on and live to see what it's like out there. In the real world.

I know he wants someone that would love me as much as he did or even more! But still. I feel empty inside without him... My mom was always worried about me since he was my BEST FRIEND! Mom would ask me if I'm okay and I would always reply with a yes, but inside I want to die. I want to do what ever it takes to see him. But I can't... For he would never forgive me if I did.

It's been six years since that day. And yet, I still remember him. Everyday I'm slowly going insane. I can't take it anymore. Mom and I both know that I'm going to go crazy one day. I can't even focus on anything.

I pretend to be all happy and cheery. But I know one thing for sure... That's just all bullshit! Hell I'm not even cheery or even happy for fucks sake! I'm a suicidal bitch who can't even do shit! But yet I'm trying my best to make it through my whole life. I just wish he was still here with me so I can tell him how much I love him.

Everyday I'm slowly forgetting. But I don't want to forget the friendship I had with him he was everything. I loved him back. I remembered my first kiss was even with him before he died. I cried everyday in bed having at least some hope. But no luck. I wish I could just be with him.

But I can't. I will say this a lot. If I kill myself he won't forgive me and he would feel more pain with me dead than me sad everyday.

~

But then I went to university I was going to live with someone in the dorms. And his name is Ludwig. That name sounds familiar I wonder why? Eh I don't really need to know maybe it's not important. Although he looks exactly like him but more of an older version of him.

Well I'm gonna be on my way to make a new friend today~

Hope he doesn't catch me taking my pills.

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Well this is the first chapter! Sorry if its short but we all know its gonna be hella short for this whole story its just a short chapter with all the chapters. I don't think that there will be a chapter in this story with over a thousand words. Well I hope you still like this story bai.

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