Holding on to you

Let's not talk about it

I was about to shake my head, there's just no way I was going to see any psychiatrist to 'talk' about my problems, I've got my best friends for that. But Killian spoke instead.

"She'll do it."

My jaw dropped and I stared at him, he couldn't really be serious, but from the look, he cast me I knew that he was. Instead of arguing like I wanted to, I just turned back to face the doctor with a fake smile plastered on my face.

"I guess I have no choice then."

The doctor didn't even flinch from the coldness in my voice, she instead smiled and continued talking like Killian and I wasn't having a silent battle between ourselves.

"Great! Doctor Brooks has an opening tomorrow at 6pm, I'll tell her to expect you."

The doctor started to leave, but I stopped her if I was going to have to sit and spill my guts to some lady I didn't know, I wanted company whiles I'm doing it.

"There just one thing, I want my loving husband to be there with me, I just think it will be easier for me with him there."

The doctor tried her best not to laugh, but she chuckled and nodded her head. She said that she will definitely make it happen then she left. I turned and smiled sweetly at Killian, I expected him to be mad but instead, he smiled down at me with a proud look on his face.

"Come on, let's get you home so that you can rest."

At the mention of the word rest, my body felt exhausted, and I nodded, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy. We got my stuff and left the hospital, and as Killian pulled out of the parking lot and drove off, I could have sworn I saw a black SUV following us, but I shrugged it off as my imagination.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Baby, Shh, I'm here."

I woke with a start, I was shaking and covered in sweat, my body felt hot and cold at the same time. The horrible images from the nightmare kept playing in my head and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I kept seeing that knife stuck in my chest and the pain felt so real, just like when it first happened.

Holding on to Killian, I sobbed and sobbed until the images started to fade and a deep exhaustion set in. Killian pulled me close to him, combing his hand through my hair, the soothing movement lullabied me back to sleep and it must have been a peaceful one because the next time I woke up, the sun was shining bright outside and Killian was missing from the bed.

I threw the covers off and got up, stretching the sleep out of my body I winced from the pain. I walked over to the bathroom to look at myself in the full-length mirror. I didn't see anything spectacular about myself, I looked like any other normal woman, I couldn't understand what it was that Killian saw when he looked at me.

The only thing that stood out on my body was the scar and seeing it only makes Killian frown in anger. I traced it with my hand and the images of that day filled my head, the look on Jason's face, the shock looks of everyone around and most of all, the look of absolute terror on Killian's face.

Shaking the images away, I quickly got into the shower and try to wash it all away. When I was done, I got dress and went in search of Killian and the rest of the Scooby gang.

I found them all in the kitchen sitting and having breakfast, Killian got up when he saw me and started walking over to me. I had only taken two-step when I felt someone pushed past me, causing me to lose my balance. If Killian wasn't already standing so close to me, I would have fallen and hurt myself pretty bad. He caught me right before I fell, strong hands coming around my waist, holding me in place.

"Oops, sorry, you should really look where you're going, you wouldn't want to hurt yourself again now, would you?"

Natasha smiled slyly, swinging her hips as she continued to walk into the kitchen. I glared daggers at her back if I could I would pull every single strand of her perfect hair out of her head.

I've had it up to my eyeball with her and Christa, and to make matters worse, the two evil bitches decided to become best friends. Killian saw the change in my mood, so he turned my face to him, titled my head up and placed a tender kiss on my lips.

When he pulled away, all thoughts of committing murder were gone from my head and only thoughts of him were left.

"Morning, beautiful."

I smiled, feeling giddy inside, I couldn't believe how much I've come to love him that the thought of being out him send cold shivers through my body.

"Morning," I replied.

He took my hand and guide me to the empty seat beside him next to the table. I smiled at Jessy and Kinsley and thanked Mia (the cook) for the plate of eggs and toast that she placed in front of me.

I wasn't really in the mood to eat, but I didn't want to make Mia feel bad either, so I picked at the food. I could tell that everyone around the table felt awkward, and I knew it because of me. I felt the tears welled up and I quickly excused myself from the table, running out of the kitchen.

Running straight up the stairs and into the first bedroom I saw, dashing right into bathroom, I locked myself in then braced against the door. I felt stupid for running, I knew that they didn't know how to address the stabbing, hell, even I didn't know how to talk about it. I mean, I was stabbed by my ex whilst protecting the man I love, how the hell do you talk about that around the breakfast table?

It's not like I can say, 'so, remember when I got stabbed and almost die? Good times, good times' so I couldn't really get upset at anyone from acting strange. Deciding that my behaviour was stupid, I washed my face and opened the door, fully intending to go and apologise.

However, the moment I opened the door I was pushed right back in and span so that my back was against it, and before I could protest wet lips crushed down on mine.