An Actual Nerd

47 * Tying Loose Ends

So I spilled out everything, very slowly, about how it had just been a mutual agreement to help Penelope with her grades. Even Penelope's motives behind it all, the fake stream of texts, the plan B. 

Lena Moore nodded. "So the source of your stress is solved: But I did think it was very out of character from what I heard from your mother. I see through people like I see through glass, and it didn't match up."

"I figured you would be suspicious."

"How did the hearing go?"

"I...I sentenced my closest friend to jail. To jail!" I put my head in my hands. 

"It's going to be tough to get over. I think the best thing is to put it out of your mind until you can safely and privately talk it out with Penelope again."

"When she's in jail. We're forbidden to communicate."

Lena looked meditative for a moment. "Do you feel guilty?"

I nodded. 

"Survivor's guilt. It's cureless, I'll tell you that. Only time and reassurance." She sighed. "Perhaps I can get a letter through to her. Letters are very mentally cleansing and receiving one is always more permanent than a text or call."

"Could you?"

"You could always just arrange to skip a lesson and talk with her in the bathroom, or somewhere private. Don't tell anyone I advised that." She held her finger up to her lips with a smile. "But I just want you to communicate, before you go back to bottling it up inside of you and exploding."

"Miss a lesson? It's nearly the SATs!" I said, horrified. 

"Are you studying properly?"

"With breaks every half hour and healthy snacks and water, yes."

"Now that you're not studying for two, I think it's safe to bet that your only enemy now is your personal affairs. And nerves. Don't worry: You're already offered places into prestigious schools, aren't you?"

"But's it's likely that they'd withdraw their offers if I do terribly." I reminded her. 

"Yes, but one mistake won't matter. I'll tell you something, Charlotte. When I heard you'd been doing another student's entire required syllabus of work and study, I was astounded. Your mental capabilities are even more limitless than I thought they were. Your dedication and loyalty is heartwarming, now that I know the backstory. I've never met someone who has so much potential, and I'll be damned if I wasn't grateful that you were my patient. I've learned more about a teenage girl's brain in this year than in 8 years of university study."

I leaned back into the couch, shocked. "Uh..."

She laughed. "You don't have to say anything. Just keep me in mind: You're smart, you're talented, you're brilliant. But you're not invincible."

"Another ominous warning. Thanks. And I'm really not the greatest example of a teenage girl's brain."

"That's the wonderful thing about humanity. There is no set example." She shrugged nonchalantly. "Is that the only thing occupying your thoughts?"

"No, um..." I clasped my hands even tighter, inhaling through my nose. "I actually want to tell you about..."

~

"I nearly forgot you rode a motorcycle."

A tremor ran down my spine, like I suspected it would every single time I heard his voice. A sort of haunting nightmare that didn't go away when I woke up.