Cresna

The Color of Shadows

The simple shade of grey that follows all of us, a simple shadow watching our backs. I believe a shadow helps us, reminds us that we aren't alone. Were followed, watched by a simple shade of Grey.

That day there was no shadow to watch over me.

That day my shadow was ripped from my body.

That day I was alone.

~
I awaken to a breath of cool air stinging my nose. The smell of wet grass and wilting flowers covered my body. I stared up at the waning moon, the night sky a ombre of blues. The stars above, make me feel small, insignificant. I sink my hands into the earth, so that by a miracle I don't float into the sky. A rustle in the grass startles me.

"I sometimes wonder if the sky will claim me as its own." I speak.

"Too bad you're afraid of heights, you'd make a bad passenger." He answers.
I chuckle at the thought of me panickin mid air.

"You're quite right, I wouldn't be any fun."

"You're fun enough," he pauses. "I guess you're stuck with me." The thought was quite comforting.

"I guess I should start practicing how to fly, maybe I'll overcome my fears." I chuckle.

"Good luck, I'll support you in your journey. I'll even push you off a roof if need be." He answers.

"Seamus, how many flowers do you think are in the field?" I wonder.

"A topic change. I suppose at least three" he answers, sitting next to me.

"Three," I mutter. "387."

"What?" He asks.

"There are 387, flowers in this very field. I counted while you were away."

Seamus sighs. "That doesn't seem like so many, in such a large field?"

"The fall is killing them, the nights grow longer and the air grows colder. Such beauty grow in such conditions."  I pinch my eyes closed, thinking about things long forgotten by others, but things that can't be forgotten by me. Things that will forever drain my memory.

"You did," Seamus's short response, made my heart clinch. He grabs my hand and places it over his heart. "We did, together." I open my eyes, the cold breeze stings my tear stricken eyes.

"Let's go home." I whisper, followed my a short

"Ok." Seamus helped me off the damp earth. He grabbed my hand and led me onto a nearby path, leading to an old rundown log cabin in the outskirts of a old rundown town. The cabin was filled with old lit candles and rustic pottery.  The sound of voices and buggies could be heard from the ragged city.

"I think the day has gotten to me, I ought to lie down." I plead. Seamus said nothing, he just stared at me as I made my way to my room. As I open the door I sigh as I enter.  Today reminded me of then... The rain. The flowers. Seamus. Everything kept coming back to that day. I wept as I lied down. All I want to do is forget, but I can't. I'm cursed. Cursed to remember for all eternity. Benjamin. Rosalie. William. How could I forget, if I had the chance would I even want to?

~
The sun woke me from my deep slumber, Benjie and Rose's laughter prompted me to get up and make breakfast. The sun was rising, meaning he would be back from his trip with uncle Lou soon. Father had been gone for almost a month on his hunting trip with his close friend lou, his been due back home for the last few days, but he is never accurate for his due dates, which is for the better. Father is a merchant, he travels, collects, and sells. Which means he's gone a lot of the time, which has made me the head of the household.

"Air," I hear the faint sound of a voice coming from behind me. "I think mom is getting sick again." Bengie managed to choke out, his face stained with tears. How long has he been there? I run to a side room past the main room. It was cramped and filled with a small cot and boxes.

"Are you ok?" I lay her down on her side. She proceeds to throw up a weeks worth of meals. Mother had been sick since I can remember. With father always traveling, we were forced to take care of ourselves. Father always refused to buy mother medicine, saying 'it was a waste of time'. She's been bed ridden the last few years, unable to leave the house, or even really move on her own. She stopped talking, after the twins were born. We have to force feed her, every meal in hopes she has enough strength to stay awake for more than 3 hours. She has episodes of energy where she'll be awake most of the day, and even getting up and walking around, but it never lasts long. As I feed mother Benjie sings a lullaby I taught them, that mother used to sing to me when I was a child.

"Don't you remember?" I hum. Tears begin to roll off her cheeks, and her breathing begins to slow.  "She seemed to calm down, I think she's asleep." While I begin to clean up I hear a loud bang from the main room. The sound of foot steps, caused a shudder down my spine. A least anticipated arrival. Father was back, and the air grew stiff with his energy. I felt like I was choking, on an atmosphere that was controllable minutes ago. I grabbed the dirty plates in a hurry and headed to the creek. I needed to get out of here, where my only thoughts.

~
The sound of thunder made my body quiver, the house shook slightly, the pottery rumbling with it. My body heavy with the feelings of the past. I sunk down onto the bed. My door suddenly began to creek open. The strands of silver hair begin to comfort me.

"Care to join me?"