"What time is it?"
"Does it really matter doctor? What is time?"
"Time has no true definition Ted, we only make of it what we can"
"Finally, you say something that isn't offensive."
"Tell me, what caused you to be driven to this state? You had everything, a normal life, a normal family."
"Do you want to know why I did it?"
"That would be nice to know, tell me."
At that moment I felt my muscles stiffen, I felt them retract with every twitching nervous movement I made, all these thoughts racing through my head, so many questions and so little time to answer them, it seemed as though they never seem to stop but there is no way to answer them for they will end up doing the opposite of what they intend to accomplish... You understand, right?
"Doctor, you never did tell me your name"
"You never told me why, how's about we both make a deal?"
"Why do you need this information? What will you do?"
"I need it to understa-"
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
My eyelids felt heavy, I could no longer take it. I gave in to the pain. This man stood before me perceiving me as if I were just some rat in his cage, I couldn't bare but to handle those memories, the memories of what happened that night.
Clique as it may sound I was never like this, the reason it sounds so clique is because we've all seen it happen, hell it's happened to you too, you'll feel your life come crashing down and if you haven't you'll experience it soon and as soon as it happens you'll refer back to this story you'll find yourself mesmerizing the things I have said. The truth.
"Please, Ted. Sit down."
A quiet sigh lingered out to fill the room with more sadness than it already had.
Do you know the worst part about feeling this way?
That hard strike to the chest you feel, so overwhelming you find yourself gasping for the littlest of breath you could find, your eyes burning at the denial your entire mind faces and the fury inside you feel afterwards for feeling so confused. These thoughts are violent yes, but they are real.
There are people who call us the insane, insanity is only a term shrinks invented to discriminate against the minds of those who are challenged to the real world, challenged into things we can never fully escape from... We do not need rehabilitation, we simply cry for help when it's needed.
"You shrinks always bullshit us, you provide us with answers our minds are fully capable of understanding, showering us with more pain and dread then handing us a simple answer, whether it's medication or a simple phrase to fill us with comfort you use it aga-"
"I'm trying to help you!"
"It's because I'm right! You silence me because I'm right!"
"I think we're done here"
Finally, he left.
Remember when I said that we can only handle so much before we lose all control?
"Hey uh.. Ted?"
I turned to witness an innocent man, gentle smile with soothing wrinkly coating his face, a scent of happiness dwelled inside him, how could It not? The man seemed as though he had adapted to this new way of living.
"Yeah?.."
I stood silent, waiting for a reply as I had not known his name.
I've admired him from afar, watching him sit down from a distance every day reading the same book, "Night".
It gave him a sense of hope, a sense of pride that I would never want for anyone to diminish, I had finally reached the chance to talk to him and to learn his name.
"Do you think you and I could talk?"
I faced him, examining every gentle movement he made, oh how they seemed so kind and caring, how could a man so sinless get to such a horrid place like this?
A question best not answered for he was the first man I had laid eyes on... Without feeling the urge to snap them in half, not that I could.
"Yeah, of course."
"I needed to make sure I wasn't crazy."
"What makes you think I can help?"
"A few of the guys said you were a retired psychologist."
I stared at him, how could he have possibly known?
"Uh.. Yeah."
"Well.. Can we?"
"Of course"
Like that, I had met my new friend.
I walked towards the cafeteria, tainted walls coated in thick blobs of unknown goo, we all walked in a line as though we were recreating an elementary style 'follow the leader' type of game, I of course looked around to catch a glimpse of today's meal. A smile formed on the edges of my lips as I saw my old pal, the one I talked to earlier.
"Hey."
I waved. "Hey."
He gestured to me in a slow manner, I walked towards him as the doctors turned around to guide the remaining people towards an empty room.
"How are you?"
"Not too bad, are you feeling any better?"
"I can't tell."
"Well I hope you feel better soon buddy."
He smiled. "Thank you."
I nodded slowly to return the kind words.
'WILL NUMBER 46 REPORT TO ROOM 587, NUMBER 46 TO 587'
I watched as he stood and let out a quiet sigh.
"Thank you for everything"
I had no words, confusion filled my mind... And like that, I never saw my friend again.
Then again...I never found out his name.
