Adrenaline Rush

Free-Falling

Free-Falling

I just turned 23 when my father decided that I was ready to choose my way to administer my choice poison and do it alone without him to guide my every move.

With my father as a teacher and a guide into the world of extreme sports and adrenaline junkies for the last 6 years, I hadn't had one moment when I reached my high. When I walked that fine line between worlds and saw the one that captured me.

On my birthday, 18 April, which makes me double damned; since my number in Numerology is 9 which is governed by Mars - the planet of heat, making me aggressive, restless, rebellious and egoistic. And then is my zodiac sign, Aries, which is impulsive, impatient, and independent. Sometimes I taught I was destined to walk the road that I choose so long ago.

On my birthday, my dad told me that – as a gift to me – he would let me choose what I wanted to do and let me do it without him and his team safety proofing everything. He, basically, gave me my diploma of passing his class and this was my final exam. If I would pass this exam of his, then he would give me a stunning recommendation, a hit in the ass and would let me loose upon the world to live it as I saw fit, knowing that I wasn't suicidal. I could've told him that I wasn't suicidal, long ago, but it was a win-win situation for me.

This were the actions that led me to stand with a bungee rope tied to my ankles and another of my father's students – a girl named Bridget – looking down at the sights before us. Below us were jagged rocks. I was getting nervous, starting to shake a little, while the adrenaline began its slow flow.

As I was standing there, with Bridget by my side, I remembered what my father told us about bungee jumping.

"You are getting nervous and start to shake and the adrenaline starts to flow. Then you throw yourself off the bridge and all you see are the rocks below, and for a few seconds you feel like you are flying, but then the cord stretches out and pulls you right before you hit the rocks below. Now the man has just retracted and finished the jump and is on his way down to the ground. After he reaches the ground he has overcome the emotional fear of the jump and is safe and mentally stronger. Although, bungee jumping is a popular recreational past time, utilizing exciting equipment, the thrills can be offset by the potential dangers and risks," my father's voice is telling me in my head, while the hunting knife – a mean looking knife with a blade of 9.5 cm made from Bohler k110 steel with a textured handle that wouldn't slip in my hand – was burning in my pants pocket.

I was more afraid about doing this and met my disappointment in not seeing the being again. I couldn't stand another disappointment. I wasn't taking all these risks only for the adrenaline high that I would get. I was doing it to live, to see that being and watch my life shine in her eyes.

I was just shoving my hand in that same pocket – just to make sure the knife was still there – when Bridget latched onto my arm and began spouting nonsense.

"You know, the origin of this sport is in Vanuatu Islands from the Pacific Ocean, where there's a similar ritual called "gkol". It's said that it all started from a married couple. The woman ran and climbed into a tree followed by the husband, she threw herself in the air, but with a lian tied to her legs. It seemed that the idea was liked very much by the local people, and they soon started to jump the same way. It sounds romantic, doesn't it?" asked Bridget, showing me her puppy eyes.

I looked down at her and taught that I could love her. In that moment, in that place, I felt attracted to her. Not that I haven't been attracted to her before. We usually found comfort in each other's arms, but in that moment I felt something more. It was as if something was pushing me into something more with her. Something that had more substance. I saw her closing her eyes and rising on her tiptoes to kiss me and felt compelled to kiss her. I could feel myself lowering my head to meet those luscious lips of hers, when it hit me how wrong all of these was. I never kissed Bridget before a stunt. We always met after the stunt, when the adrenaline was still coursing through our veins and we were still high in our own little world. I don't know who she saw in my place – I kept lying to myself, trying to believe that she, like me, was just replacing my face with someone else's – but I knew, I never did have sex with her. It was the being I saw that I had in my arms, when I was with Bridget.