FIGHT

Chapter 19

I'm almost disappointed when the car stops. At least until I remember that I'm at Holden's.

I press some money into the driver's palm, not paying much attention to how much I've tipped him over what the meter said. Normally, I'd care, but my mind is only trained on one thing.

The door to Holden's gym is locked and I'm thankful that I'm coherent enough to remember where the spare key is. It takes a bit of jumping until I finally reach it, but once it clatters to the ground, I'm quick to pick it up and shove it into the key hole.

I've never been good with keys, so it takes me about five tries before I successfully get the door unlocked. The whole gym is dark and I stumble around for a bit before finally finding my way to the elevator. Nothing about this situation is even funny, but I can't help but giggle at myself.

I step into the elevator, giving myself a few minutes to breath before I decide to press any buttons. I have to try and figure out what I'm going to say to him. Is this considered breaking and entering? My heart is racing as questions flood through my mind.

What am I going to say? What will he say back? Will he even want to talk to me? Does he still think about me like that?

What if he has a girl up there? What if it's that nurse from the hospital?

The thought makes me sick to my stomach, but absolutely fuels my internal rage. Without hesitation, I press the button to travel up. If he has a girl up there, the first thing I'm doing is kicking her out and sending her home.

He's my Holden. He said it himself.

It feels like an eternity has passed before the loud ding sounds, signifying that I've made it up to Holden's apartment. A small lamp in the living room is on, but otherwise, the place is dark. I walk to the kitchen, turning on the light so I can see. Before I do anything, I have to get a drink of water.

I still remember where everything is and I waste no time before grabbing a glass and filling it with ice cold water, gulping it down. It's doing nothing for my cloudy mind, but it makes my skin feel less like an oven.

After I finish the glass, I refill it. A noise startles me and I turn around, seeing a shirtless Holden in front of me. He's wearing a pair of grey sweats that hang low on his hips, exposing the band of his boxers. It looks like he just woke up; his eyes are blinking slowly as he watches me, his unruly hair messier than usual.

I feel the glass slip out of my hand but have no reaction as it shatters to the floor. This is so much different than seeing him earlier; my heart is reaching out to him, beating fast.

We keep our eyes locked on each other, neither of us making any move. Soon, I'll have to clean up the glass, but I can't focus on that long enough to tear my gaze away from Holden's beautiful green eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Holden's voice sounds pained and I wonder if our separation has hit him as hard as it me.

It's strange how I didn't know it before. Without noticing, I love him with so much intensity; that'll never change. I won't ever stop feeling for this curly haired man. I'll always find my way back to him, regardless of what goes wrong.

"I came here to yell at you."

My voice is timid and I can't keep strong while looking at him. My whole body aches from just being near him.

"So yell." The sad look in Holden's eyes hurts me. I don't want to be the reason he's sad. I want to be what makes him better when he's had a shit day.

"Do you have another girl here?" I don't know why that question slipped out, but I can't take it back. I grab a rag and begin to clean up the glass shattered onto the floor, the cloth soaked and punctured within seconds. Anything to avoid Holden's eyes until the question is answered.