All You Got Is Me(Dramione)

Draco got up from the floor. His vision still blurry before he wiped his eyes then undressed. As he took off his shirt, he revealed numbers of scars. Some pink,others darker than his skin, and all of them leading a trail to his legs.

He hated his scars. He hated the ones his father made. Each and every one of them had a past. Draco stared at the long pink line running down his rib and without hesitation, his finger touched it.  He could still feel how the stitches hurt him every time he went to sleep on his side. Lucius had gotten angry and, unfortunately, they were both at the top of the stairs. Draco was being strangled until Lucius tripped over his own feet and let go of him. Draco winced at the memory of every stair stabbing his side. 

Draco clenched his fist as he remembered how emotionless his father had been while lying to the nurses at St. Mungo's . He was sure that the nurses knew what happened but his father contained power over a lot of things after the war. They wouldn't dare say anything.  

He didn't want his parents in the room while the nurses were undressing him. That rush of panic moved through Draco's body again as he remembered how close he was to getting caught. He couldn't let them know about his other scars. He whispered to a nurse to ask if his parents could wait outside while he changed. Noticing the desperate look on his face, the nurse, without hesitation, asked Narcissa and Lucius to step outside the curtains. They left but not without Draco getting a worried look from his mother and a cold glare from his father.

These memories brought back fresh emotions and he felt the sweat dripping down his back. Even if it was in the past, they would always break him down. They were so terrifying. He couldn't help but try to change the situations in his mind. Unfortunately, no matter what, it still happened and shame continued to fill his soul.

The back of his hand wiped the sweat off his forehead as he stumbled into the bathroom. As soon as he got in , he locked the doors quickly. He checked all the locks and took out his daily items: the alcohol, cottons,and bandages were laid out staring at him on the counter.

Draco looked up from them and stared at himself in the mirror. One more thing Draco hated the most. Even scared of. The way his dark circles formed under his blood shot eyes made him look like a vampire. His pale skin only added to this and his hair was a stringy mess. Draco gripped the sink tighter as he challenged himself. He saw the flash of anger in his eyes believing it was the darkness in him wanting to get out. He hated that look so much. He hated that he could see his repressed child-self in his expression. He hated every single thing about him. Ugly, getting thinner every time his father got angrier, and relying on pain that could make  all his insecurities and past go away for a minute.

He gritted his teeth and looked away from the mirror to take his trousers off. Bandages pressed against his wounds tighter as he tried to be careful. Finally,when they were down to his knees,he dropped them. The cold air in the bathroom calmed his wounds as he sat on the floor slowly. Draco inspected the cuts on his leg. 

He didn't see what the nurses seen. She recalled them being 'self harming'.  Draco only felt joy despite the after effects of the cuts.  When the cold blade would touch his skin, bliss would float in his veins like butterflies. The nurse wanted to tell his family but he warned her that if she dare tell, she would lose everything. Draco didn't want to tell her, of course. Draco was trying to change. He tried his best but his old self came like vomit in times of desperation. A nervous breakdown had attached itself to his throat in that moment. He could only think of sneering and using his last name to stop her. 

On the outside, Draco looked like Draco. Still a cold statue, his blonde hair perfect with every strand, and his usual scowl playing across his face. On the inside,  he wanted to get rid of them. He wanted to rid himself as a whole. His past suffocated his soul and taunted him. He was ruining his own life.