What lies beyond

Prologue

Today is Flavia's birthday, she turns thirty.
She likes to think she did a lot in this period of time, she had many experiences, both good and bad ones, that have forged her essence and led her to be what she is now.
She's always thought of being "different" and on several occasions she tried to build a dimension in which she could feel like being herself, where there was no discrimination, judgments, betrayals.
For Flavia, living life is more complicated, because she has a sensitivity out of the ordinary that leads her to suffer much; she also loves solitude and she is not very good at socializing, although when she finds the right people she is able to open up and show what she usually keeps hidden behind a wall.
Because Flavia raised this wall to avoid feeling the pain.
What you see of her is only an infinitesimal part of what lies beyond.
Protected by a robust barrier are her feelings, her emotions and everything that is not safe showing to the rest of the world. The creativity, the ideals, the dreams, her selfless ingenuity and the desire to express her artistry.
She hasn't decided consciously to entrench herself, it is a consequence of a series of events that convinced her inner self that this is the best solution, not to suffer.
So, who meets Flavia sees a rational person, with the head on her shoulders, which can be trusted without exception. This is also because of her strong sense of duty and other mechanisms that we will discover later.
Only a few people, the most sensitive ones and those who can read beyond what is shown, can see what is behind this.
A free spirit, that has been repressed because it is necessary, because children can't do strange things, because art does not let you eat and the society doesn't accept people with the head in the clouds and that can't find their exact location in it.
For this reason, in Flavia there is a constant duality between the rational and the emotional part, that are in diametrical opposition.
And she only get by what she wants and what she has to, asking herself always a little more than what she can.
As time passes, getting back in touch with what's behind the wall has become increasingly difficult; so much that only a few events with a heavy emotional contribution, allow in certain situations this to crack, however creating a flood of irrationality that leads her to make extreme and often dangerous choices.
Those who know her well know that Flavia lives in her own world, where there is respect and there is love and where the pain is always relieved by strong feelings.
Because this world that she built is designed for her, for her endless creativity and her deepest desires for acceptance and love, where no matter how you dress, what job you do or why you do one thing instead of another; the important thing for Flavia is being able to express what she has inside, her special powers, her compassion and the desire to let others know who she is, what she wants and her preferences.
She knows, though, that as long as there is this wall, she will not be able to show her inner universe to the rest of the world.
Precisely for this reason, and on the day of her birthday, Flavia decides it is time to bring forth a range of situations and themes that have helped turn her into what she is, doing a foray over the barrier and extrapolating the highlights of what has led her to erect it.
There are 30 topics, as many as the years she turns today and they will help both she and those who read this paperwork to read her better, to understand some of her choices and to see the "real Flavia", hiding behind the brilliant rational person.