Rejected or Accepted? (MAJOR EDITING)

How i started

I was numb. That day was my last day of living that life. I had to leave.

I waiting for my mom to come back from work, so I can finally leave this Hell hole. I mind linking her but that didn't work, I thought she was blocking me.

I have no idea what happen, but the pack's Alpha said,' come to my office.' so had no choice but to obey. As I walk in I see all my cousins that were in town in that  office crying.

But what I want to know is why?

"Lalia can you please sit down." I did as I was told. I sit in the seat in font of his desk. "Now I know you have only one parent, right? No one else? Correct?" He ask me.

"Yes just my mom, no other parent that is correct." I say. "We found her at the office dead, she hanged herself, and left you this note. To say goodbye." He said sturnly, with a blank stare.

This is what set me off the edge. I was I was beyond livid. It felt like my whole world is crashing down. The last piece that was keeping me sane, was gone. My only parent left gone. I took the note it said,

Dear Lalia,

I'm soo sorry I can't be without mate anymore. I know I seem fine, but it what's beneath the eye that makes the beholder. I was only holding on for you. I feel that my time is up. You will understand when you find you mate. I hope he will cherish the time he has with you. I hope both of you will cherish the memories you make together. There is nothing more beautiful in life than finding your other half. You will always want to be with them. You will have you ups and downs, but in the end it will all be worth it. I pray to the moon goddess that you will never have to feel the pain that I had to feel.

                I will always love you,

                             Your Mother

I thought this was a twisted fate. I thought, 'Why Moon Goddess? What did I do to deserve this curse? I must have done something so bad to feel this burning pain that I feel from his rejection.'

I knew right there, that my mother didn't pray hard enough. At that moment, I want to feel that pain. I know it couldn't hurt more than this coldness in my heart.

I was ready to see the Moon Goddess face to face and answer her those questions. How would I live? It would feel better to die. I know this is going to slowly kill me. This is the moat painful death a wolf could wish for. All I know now is that of death came to me I would welcome it with open arms. No matter how painful, it could not worst that this.

And that's all it took for me to leave the pack.