snapchat |hemmings

if i lived - two

Red - hold me now
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Music blasted my headphones as I made my way down the corridor. I guess I was popular at school. I mean my group of friends was popular so that must mean something. Noah met me by my locker as usual.

"Hey." He smiled. His dimples poked out and his long hair was tamed back into a man bun.

I nod my head and get the books out I require as Noah just stands there. His smile fades as he noticed I'm actually going to walk off without saying anything. I know it was being rude but what he said last night kinda hurt me. What happened to trust in a relationship?

"I know your mad at me.." Noah starts off.

I stand in front of him and raise my eyebrows.

"Mad? Noah I'm not mad." I sigh and place a hand to my head. "I'm just hurt."

Noah looks into my eyes and sighs. He takes the hand I placed on my head and takes it in his own. I take it back to me.

"I'll see you after Math Noah." I inform him turning around.

I hear him shout 'fuck' and slam the green lockers that I had grown to hate. I miss Luke. So much. I skipped maths entirely. I snuck out of school avoiding Noah completely. But not avoiding him.

He beeped his car and I glanced at it and shook my head. Then he decided to get out. This time I stand up and make my way over to his car getting in the other side. He drives without saying anything to me and I stare out the window. We pull up outside a lake. The water was crisp clear and making small ripples as the wind blew across Melbourne.

Luke got out and held is hand out for me. I took it willingly and he lead me towards the water. He laughs when we get near as a butterfly lands on my head and I shake my head to remove the creature that had placed itself upon me.

"Your so beautiful." Luke whispers.

I blush and look down at the grass. When I glance back up he's pulling his top off and yanking down his jeans.

"You coming in?" He asks stepping towards the water more.

I shake my head and pull the sleeves down on my jumper. He can't know. He can't ever know.

Luke jumps in water splashing everywhere and costing his body as he comes back up to the surface. I sit cross legged as I watch him swim.

"You sure?" Luke pesters and I nod, picking at the blade of grass in front of me.

I feel him swim up to me and his wet hands are placed on my dry ones. He strokes them for a minute and sighs.

"Please." Luke mumbles.

I shake my head and take my hands from his. He glances up at my face and his eyes become glassy.

"Show me your scars Ella." He responds.

I glance down at him. He knew.

"Why?"

"So I can count how many times you needed me and I wasn't there for you." Luke tears up a little.

I feel a tear slip down my cheek. Our faces so close. Our lips brushing against each other on every word.

Luke's hands slip up my jumper a little and he gasps. He runs his fingers over the fresh wound making me flinch a little.

"I'm so sorry baby." Luke's eyes fail at holding in the tears and they drip down his cheeks.

"It's ok." I reply pulling my sleeves back down but his hands stop me from doing so.

"Don't hide from me." Luke tugs on his bottom lip as he pushes my sleeves up higher. "Ok." He swallows. I don't look at him as he observes the fresh wounds that go up my arm towards my shoulder.

He kisses each one delicately his lips lingering on the last one. He licks his lips and looks at mine. I nod quickly as he leans in and places them against mine. They move in sync as he pushes hair behind my ears. I pull away and stare at his swollen lips. I shake my head and stand up.

"I'm sorry." I say before running.

Why would I run? Why did I run? It's because I felt it. The pang I've never wanted to feel. The pang I shouldn't feel. The pang with 4 letters. The pang of love.

The feeling of something only me and Noah should share. But for some reason I can't share with him. I can only share with Luke. The only feeling I ever want to feel with Luke and Luke only.

And that's what I wished before I went to bed. I wanted to feel the love again. I'm not going to ever say this again. It felt amazing. It felt real. And that's the only thing that I have been sure about. It's the only thing I have ever been sure about.

I love Luke Hemmings.

***
Please tell me if the story is moving too fast I just love their relationship so much I want to move it on.

Honestly it was very personal writing this. I mean I haven't had anyone look at my scars and kiss them but yeah. It's hard sometimes and I wish I had a Luke.

But some people are bitches and some things play on my mind so I guess yeah. Like I said it was pretty personal.

I'm not feeling right so sorry if this was shit. I'm feeling quite depressed at the moment so yeah.

Remember to tell me if this is moving too fast.

- Michelle