I constantly stare at you
Almost as if you're gonna say something back
But you never do
Of course you don't
The thoughts racing all throughout my mind
Telling me why I don't deserve to be here
Why everything would just be easier for everyone
If I just picked you up
Put you in my mouth
And squeezed the trigger
You almost look at me so innocently
Trying to sell the idea that you're not dangerous to me
I am fully aware of the damage you can cause to me
But in so many moments, it just doesn't matter to me
I deserve the pain that comes to me
I deserve being deserted by everyone I've ever cared about
Anyone I've ever bent over backwards to try to help
Anyone I've ever stayed up long nights with
Just to make sure that they were okay
That they knew someone out there cared about them
And loved them
But they only use me
That's all anyone ever does
My life has the same importance of a condom
I prevent unwanted mistakes
And then once you're finished using me
You throw me away
Like the worthless piece of trash I am
I'm not trying to make it seem like I'm some saint here okay?
I know my sins
And as a stare at you for the countless hours of the night
I see each and every one of those sins
I finally make up my mind
It won't hurt to just hold you in my hand
No harm can be done then
I pick you up, place you in my hand
I open up your chamber
And count the bullets
6
I figure all I need is one to get the job done
