The boy whom I fell in love

Flashbacks and hospital visits

***KELLIN'S POV***

I sat on the cold metal part of the train tracks, did I seriously want to do this? I had just drank my weight in alcohol and was wasted out of my mind, everything was blurry and I couldn't look at something without it being doubled because of my blurry vision. My eyes were dry and my cheeks were stained with dry tears, I couldn't breathe at all and honestly didn't care anymore. I bet your wondering what the hell happened that made me end up like this and I can tell you exactly why. My boyfriend Matty had broke up with me, I know I know don't get me started. Your probably questioning why the hell would I be this fucked up because of some guy? Well, he was my everything. It was my senior year in high school and we had know eachother since around we were both in third grade. We were best friends until seventh grade when I started realizing I was gay and started noticing I had a crush on him. We stayed the night with eachother and he came up with the idea he wanted to kiss me, I told him all the things I though about him and he had admitted that he had the same feeling for me too. Not so long after that, we decided we wanted to take things further than just being friends so, he asked me out. Of course I said yes and we grew and grew over time. To think that last week I was curled up in his arms with him kissing my neck and whispering cute little nothings in my ear that made me blush beyond anything ever, to this. He broke up with me without any notice at all. I mean yesterday we were making out in the back seat of his fucking car and now, this bullshit? We were so perfect I mean, every couple in the school wanted to be us, regaurdless of genders. It could be a straight couple, a lesbian couple or just a gay couple but everyone wanted to be our restionship. I sat there and in the distance, I heard the train's whistle screaching so I dropped onto the platform that was maybe an eight feet drop, and just like that, I was out cold. I woke up to a beeping noise and automatically knew were I was, a hospital. No no no! I wasn't supposed to be here! I was supossed to be dead, in hell, gone for good, but this no! I wouldn't tolerate it! I sat up quick and realized that was a mistake as my head spun rapidly and I got all the sudden really dizzy and my eyes got blurry. There was a nurse washing something in the sink in the room I was in and when the hospital bead squeaked, she turned around. " Oh, Mr. Quinn, your awake, please, stay calm and still, you took a pretty nasty fall back there." I obeyed and lied back down and she said she would be back. A different person walked into the room that I was in, he didn't look like a nurse and defiantly didn't look familiar and he sat at the foot of my bed. He was a short Mexican guy with long brown hair swept over his longing eyes and let me say he wasn't bad looking either. "Why did you do that?" He asked with a concerned look, "I'm not catching what your saying, do what?" I knew exactly what he was talking about though, I was just being a stubborn bitch. "Oh C'mon dude, why did you try and kill yourself." I never wanted to really try and kill myself, the thought actually terrified me but, I just wanted all the pain to go away. "I'd rather not talk about it until I get my shit together okay?" I was a little harsh but he should understand why I didn't really wan't to talk. I moved my arm to try and sit up and a needle sharp pain ended up in my arm, "Try not to move your arm to much, when u fell, you broke your arm I and the nurses wanted to wait till you woke up to but the cast on. Fucking great, a broken arm? What the fuck am I supposed to do with a broken arm. The one "bright side" about my gad damn arm was that it was my left arm so I was still able to write and stuff. "I have a question," I blurted out not even knowing what I was just gonna say but awkward silence makes me mad so I went for it. "May I help you?" "Uh, oh, how am I not dead." I asked suprising the both of us. "Well, when you fell on the tracks, I was there, and saw it wasn't an accident, so I got someone elses help and, we pulled you off the tracks seconds before the train pulled up." That fucking asshole, I wasn't supposed to be here, I was supposed to be dead, not sitting here in this fucking hospital bed! I was pissed but had to give him credit, I knew someone would have saved me so I kind of guess if I didn't wan't to be saved I would have been more private about it. He said he was going to see what was talking the nurse so long and left the room, I focused on how concerned he was about me, he was nice and I was happy someone cared about me, I always though Matty cared but not I guess that was all a lie. I wanted to tell him but I couldn't trust anyone anymore, I keep making that mistake over and over again. When me and Matty started dating, people found out and we broke up about a month after we started dating. My friend Oliver hopped into the situation and soothed me, I was sad we had to break up because in my opinion, I didn't care if people knew we were dating but at the time, he still is but he was the most popular guy in the school. Every girl liked him and he was such a "ladies man," and was to scared to get his reputation ruined and, I respected that but, I was crushed but, Oliver just stepped in to make me feel comforted. He had known he was gay around the sixth grade and he had let everyone know because, we wasn't afraid, I wish I had that confidence, but of course, I didn't. Right as Matty broke up with me, he was there. He was literally at my house five minutes after Matty texted me saying we were done. He hugged me for hours at a time as we sat on my bed, and then all the sudden, kissed me, and I didn't stop him. I wanted to feel the comfort of being loved. We dated for maybe a month and knowing the player he is, he broke up with me for some other guy. I brushed it off because I saw it coming and I didn't hurt much as bad as it did when Matty broke up with me. I was lying on my bed about a week after that, just focused on the pattern on the celling, when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see what it was and it was Matty. All In though was, oh god, what the hell did he want, to screw me up even more? I opened the message, wiping the tears off my cheeks, and slowly read it. " Hey Kellin... I know you probably like hate me right now but, I really screwed up, I realized that I care about you way more than my stupid reputation, please message me back as soon as you can ~Matty." I can't believe it, he wanted me back! I was way to happy, I didn't wanna freak out because as much as I wanted to, I kept my cool and casually texted him back say, "Yea, can you meet me somewhere so we can talk about it?" I wa super happy that he wanted me back then again, he can't just leave me and come crawling when he needed someone, how did I know he wasn't gonna do this again? There was a million things running through my mind but I snapped out of it when my phone buzzed besides me on my bed. "Sure, uh, how does Rosavelt Park sound?" That was an okay place to go because it was just down the street from my house so I typed "Sure, be there in ten," and rushed out the door. I arrived to the main part of the park and Matty was already there. He ran up to me and hugged me as tight as he could and I swear to this day, I can still feel that very because it lingered for such a long time. "Listen Kellin, I am so sorry, I realized that you mean so much more to me than a dumb reputation, give me another chance." He was super quick with his apology and with his explination and I just sat there, hesitating because, like I said, what if he did this again? "I'm j-just scared, that, uh, y-you are gonna, do this again, like break up with me and, uh, come crawling back when you need comfort." "C'mon Kellin, please give me another chance, I promise this won't happen again, I'll tell the whole school were dating if that proves I wanna be with you." I thought for a minute and finally, accepted. He pulled me into a super tight hug and pushed me back, crashing into my lips. It was just dumb little puppy love back then like, I got those little butterflies and would giggle when he said dumb little cheesy thing to me like I was a little girl who was crushing on the most popular guy in the entire school. We walked into the school the next day, hand in hand and some people aw'ed, some were disgusted but at the time, I didn't care. Last Monday the same thing happened and now, we were over. I was still so confused though, we were such a happy cute couple and all the sudden, he just cut us off. I heard a knock at the door and a familiar face popped in, Matty? "What the hell are you doing here Matty?" I asked bluntly. "What the hell were you thinking trying to kill yourself?" He asked in a shaky voice, "Hey, I asked first." I said being stubborn, "What the fuck do you think I'm doing here Kellin, you scared the shit out of me." "I'll ask the questions here, first of all, why in the hell did you break up with me?" Tears started welling up in my already swollen eyes, "We were so perfect and you cut me off." I said now with tears pouring out of my eyes. "Kellin, we were falling apart, don't you notice, we aren't as, you know, exciting as we were back then, were talking to eachother less, we don't really interact as much as we used, haven't you noticed?" I guess he had a point, we were falling apart, we wern't like we used to be, I guess that was a fair enough answer, even though I was crushed. "Don't get me wrong Kellin, I lo-," I cut him off there, "Don't even start with me Matty, I know you were gonna start with I love you sappy bullshit and if you really did love, you would at least try to fix us so, I don't care, I loved you too and apparently that was a mistake, so get the fuck out before I lose my shit on you and call security." That was enough to startle him snd get him to leave. About ten minutes later, that one Mexican guy and nurse walked in. "Hey Kellin, I'm nurse Kelly and wil be will be putting on your cast today, is there anything I can get you before we start?" I didn't think of it till now, but I was really thirsty, "Uh yeah, a glass of water would be great, thanks." She walked out of the room and a couple seconds later walked back in with a plastic cup of water. I slammed the whole thing and then let her do what he does. "What color cast do you wan't sweetie?" "Uh, black." I said because who's faviorte color wasn't black these days? "Okay!" She said in a typical nurses preppy voice. Once she was done putting on my cast, she walked out of the room for a minute to talk to another nurse. Dead silence was all there was in the room until I couldn't keep up with it because it was driving me absolutely insane. "So, what your name?" I said in an awkward tone, he looked suprised that I spoke to him but quickly answered. "Vic, and should ask the same but, I kind of already know, and that was all that was said until the same nurse walked in saying, "Bad news, we have to keep you here for a week until we can let you free. I honestly didn't care because hey, no school so that was at least the bright side. I nodded my head and Vic said, "Well, I gotta go, see you around Kellin which I doubt he would but, okay... What a strange guy...

Hey guys! Thanks for reading, lots more to come so, stay tuned, love you guys!!