DOWN N DIRTY

5.

"I'm so sorry.  But I had no choice."  I even add a sob to it and press the stop button.  

"You think you love me?  What the hell is wrong with you?  I'm so sick of you, all you have done for the past year is made me feel smaller and smaller and more self-conscious, looking over my shoulder all the time to see if you are there, terrified of what you would do and powerless to stop it.  You have ruined me. " He sees how angry I am becoming and bows his head.  I growl and grab his collar, yanking him out the door.

"You are suspended for a week.  Take me tribunal if you want but this is the final straw.  You will be hearing from my legal team within that time.  I'm getting a restraining order placed on you.   Also, if I see you again in the next week, my sister won't be the only one in hospital.  Now get out."  I slam the door and sit in my desk, spinning in circles til all I can think about is the pounding in my head.

-*-

"Ron?"

I flick my head round then turn back to the bale.  My fists keep hitting it, over and over and over, until arms wrap around me and hold my bruised knuckles, pulling me back into a warm chest.  I instinctively curl inwards and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight and lowering us to the floor gently.  I curl into his chest and just stay there, breathing in his Redbull and cigarette smell.  My eyes search frantically for something to grip onto, some kind of reality but all I find is dust.  He holds me tighter and forces my face into his chest so all I can see is darkness.  The tension leaves my body at the comforting loss of the bewildering world and I unconsciously relax.  We stay there for a moment until I pull back.  He glances down and lets me go quickly and I run behind the bale and dry heave.  He strokes my back and holds my hair back until I'm done with the harsh convulsions.  I nod to him wordlessly and we head up to the portacabin.  I grab us both a beer and chug it quick, before I can think of the consequences.  He sips his slowly and blocks me from taking another.

"Stop."  I see his eyes scan my face but keep my own fixed on the floor.  Sighing, he lifts my chin and kisses the corner of my mouth.  He smiles crookedly at the look on my face and I flush slightly but raise my head in defiance of my body's reaction.

"Believe me sweetheart, count yourself lucky that you obviously threw up earlier else my tongue would be firmly lodged down your throat right now."

"Why, you sure know how to talk to a woman." I say dryly, accompanied with a hiccup laugh.  We stare at each other for a moment but I clear my throat and saunter off down the yard, popping gum into my mouth.  The first step shows signs of rain and by the time I've walked 100 yards, it's pelting it down with rain.  We sprint down the yard, laughter floating on the humid air.  We get to the empty cattle yards 3 and 4 and hide against one of the dividing concrete panels.  The rain begins to settle and we lean against the exposed gatepost.  I lean up and kiss his cheek and he looks down at me for a moment.

"Screw it." He says, bringing his lips down and pushing them against mine.  What started off as a quick peck turns deeper as he pushes me against the post.  I growl slightly and turn him so he's against the post then jump so my legs go around his waist.  He holds them but I pull away.

"No.  Not here.  I gotta go get Bobby but I'll see you later." I detach myself with difficulty, both of us are reluctant to let go. 

-*-

 After saying my goodnights to everyone, I climb in my truck and speed away.  I roll down the window and let out a sigh at the cool air hitting my sweaty face.  Sophie's pub comes into view and I pull around the back.  Bobby jumps in and we drive home in silence.  He runs upstairs and gets ready for a bath whilst I clean up the kitchen where Rox left a huge mess.  I bath him quickly and he's in bed before the clock hits eight thirty.  I begin to leave his room but he calls me back.