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sparks

"We really made her angry," I murmur, deciding that bed can wait a little bit longer as I lean against the back of Sirius' chair, looking down at him. "I feel bad about it. I hope James tracked her down, and she's okay." I don't dare tell him that I even feel a little badly about what we did to Snape; I know him. That just wouldn't be a good idea.

He shrugs. "She'll get over it. I wonder what pushed her over the edge?"

I frown. This isn't heading in the direction I intended. I hadn't realized until now that I was intending for it to head in a certain direction... but I am. "She compared us to Death Eaters," I say in a hushed tone. I look up to make sure no one's paying attention to our conversation; I don't want to worry someone if they hear us talking about Death Eaters. "Maybe we did go a little far."

"We've done tons worse than that to Snivellus," Sirius says dismissively. He's giving me a curious look. "Besides, he deserves it. You know that. He's practically a Death Eater, I'll bet."

My frown deepens. I suppose it wouldn't surprise me if Snape turns out to be a Death Eater. But I wonder how he would have turned out if more people were nice to him, like Lily tries to be. It's stupid to think this way... but I can't help wondering. "Maybe he doesn't. Lily obviously doesn't think so. She said no one deserves it, remember?"

Sirius shakes his head, and I can tell he isn't about to change his mind. "She didn't mean that. You-Know-Who deserves far worse than stupid little pranks like that, after all, and you know she'd admit it. People are what they are, and Snivellus is a greasy little git with his nose too far in the Dark Arts."

People are what they are... and I'm a werewolf, I can't help thinking. I shudder. I don't want to talk about this anymore. At all. I don't want to think about the monster inside me. So I stand up and cast one last glance down at Sirius. "I'm going to bed."

He seems worried about me as I turn and head up the stairs to our dormitory. I collapse on my bed, dreading the nightmares I expect to trouble my sleep, but not wanting to stay up and brood over what's happened, either.

- padfoot -

The Great Hall is packed for dinner, the same as it was for breakfast and lunch. Usually, except for breakfast and lunch on school days since students need to get to class on time, students come and go as they please to meals, taking their time; today, though, it's miserable outside. Any kid in his right mind is eager to get done with studying as quickly as he can, and there's not much else other than studying to occupy us on days like this, so the Great Hall tends to be full and buzzing with chatter when the weather is horrible. The enchanted ceiling reflects the blizzard outside, snow falling so thickly that it looks like a blanket of grayish-white over the hall.

Peter's already at the table. When he sees me, he waves, grinning. "Hey, Sirius, I didn't think you'd come... where's Moony?"

I can't help grinning a little at how eager and young he sounds. He's our age, but he seems like he's some over-excited little third year, not a sixth year. Still, I'm not feeling so great, myself. I think Remus rubbed some of his low spirits off on me. "Tired," I reply. "He's gone to bed early. Have you seen James?"

Wormtail shakes his head, his blonde hair flying. He's getting a little heavier this year... He's always been a little plump, but now I'm starting to think he should probably cut back on the sweets.

I'm not altogether very hungry, but I shovel down my food automatically, hardly tasting it. Peter's chattering beside me, I think about the nearly-finished Marauder's Map (my idea, I'm proud to say, though James inspired it), but I'm only listening with half an ear. Up at the Staff Table, Professor Dumbledore is having an animated conversation with Professor McGonagall; Hagrid, the gamekeeper, isn't there, but he usually steers clear of the castle except for special occasions.

I'm halfway through my meal when James and Lily, looking slightly flushed, enter the Hall together. I grin; by the looks of it, James has made up to Lily, and she's ready to give him the time of day. I knew she liked him, at least a little. I give a small wave, and they hurry over to sit next to Peter and me, though Lily doesn't look quite like she's ready to forgive the rest of us Marauders even if she's made up with James. Peter looks up from his nearly-finished food and grins broadly. "I knew she liked him," he says, and I make sure he can't see me roll my eyes.

"Hey, Padfoot," James says slightly breathlessly, sitting across from me since there aren't two empty seats on either side of Peter or me. Lily sits next to him, eyeing Peter and me distrustfully. "Wormtail. Where's Remus?"

"Sleeping," Peter pipes up helpfully.

"What's with your nicknames?" Lily asks James. I give him a goofy grin while she isn't looking, and I can tell he has trouble not beaming back now that Lily's on speaking terms with him. Instead, he kicks me under the table, and I jump. Lily looks at me, startled, and thankfully seems to forget her question.

"Sorry about upsetting you," I tell Lily by way of apology, and Peter nods fervently as he finishes off his meal. "We didn't mean to."

She doesn't look happy about this apology, and she replies curtly, "It's Snape you should apologize to."

I almost choke on my food, but a look from James stops me from replying indignantly. Lily seems to accept my silence as a sort of peace treaty and begins eating. I finish my own food as quickly as I can and try to catch James' eye so we can have a little talk, but he shakes his head and gestures to Lily.

My mouth twitches into a frown, and I roll my eyes and get up from the table. "I'm going back to the common room. I'll see you later."

-o-

It's late at night before I get to talk to James alone. Lily has retired to bed, leaving James and me in a nearly empty common room in front of the blazing fire, warding off the chill of the blizzard outside. The fact that James and Lily wouldn't separate for anything had been irritating me to no end, but now that she's gone, I let it go and grin at James. "I told you she doesn't hate you."

He blushes and grins back. "Shut up, Padfoot. She was right, today."

I raise my eyebrows at him, surprised. "I know you had to tell her you were sorry about the thing with Snivellus, but this is me. Not Peeves. I won't go dancing off to tell her whatever you say to me."

He musses his hair with a hand and pushes his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose. "I mean it, Sirius. I talked to her about it... and... you know how she's Muggle-born. And I said something about Sniv—Snape's family. That's how You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters are. They hate you just if you have the wrong sort of family, or just if you associate with the wrong kinds of people, like Muggles and Muggle-borns."

"But we hate Snivellus just for being his slimy little self," I point out. James watches me with his hazel eyes, and I can tell that Lily's gotten to him.

"He's awful, I know. And he's into the Dark Arts..." He sighs. I know he's fighting not to slide back into just hating Snivellus like normal, and I'm about to encourage it—the little git deserves being hated—when he finishes, "Still, we shouldn't always be so horrible to him. Just when he earns it, not for no good reason."

I shake my head and laugh. "Okay, Prongs." He'll be over this in a week, I tell myself. Funny what a girl can do to a bloke. I've never been seriously interested in a girl, but I've seen boys our age head-over-heels for one, willing to do whatever she wants. "Let's go to bed."