"How's your arm?" River asks as we walk to his room
"Its fine, i think" i shrug
"Your quite the tough girl, aren't yah" he says
"Well yeah I guess so" I laugh a little
"I reckon that's cool" he smiles
"Haha its all fun until you get a knife pulled on you"
"God if I had a cut like that on my arm, I would probably faint" he says
"Its going to hurt like hell tomorrow though" I sigh "but, its worth it"
"How?" He asks
"I got to beat the crap outta Bodhi" I say
"Well yeah, he's a dick so he deserved it I bet" river says
"Hey I left my stuff out on the porch, I'm just gonna go get it ok?" I say
"Sure, I'll be right here" river says
I go get my stuff and run into Joaquin
"Hey Joaquin"
"Hey, I thought you went home" he says
"I did, but I came back" I smile
"Why?"
"Um, well, i got hurt and my family didn't want me around so I came here" I explain
"Oh, well I like when your around, river really likes you a lot and says a lot of nice things about you" he smiles
"Aww you're a little cutie aren't you" I say and mess up his hair, he blushes "I've got to go and get my stuff, so I'll see you tomorrow morning "
"Ok goodnight" he says
"Goodnight"
I get my stuff and go back to rivers room, he was sitting on his bed playing his guitar and singing
"Oh my god River, you sound so amazing" i sigh
"Thanks baby, hey, uh, why dont you come and sit down here next to me" river says
"Sure, ah actually, I'm feeling a bit light headed" I say
"Well come lie down" he says
"River, can I talk to you, like were talking now, but like, really talk" I say after a while
"Yeah of course"
"Well, there's a shit load of stuff that i haven't told anyone and I really want to tell someone, because apparently its better to tell someone how you feel than keep it inside, so I'm going to tell you whether you like it or not" I say
"Ok, i make a great therapist" he smiles, puts his guitar down and lies down beside me
"God, I have no idea where to start to be honest" I sigh
"Well, whatever you feel needs to be addressed first I guess" he says
"Well, you know how I said my sister wouldn't care if I was dead?" I ask
"Yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't mean it"
***** may trigger - trigger warning *****
"Oh she does, but I dont think anyone really would care if I died, like I'm a sad piece of teenage trash who is obsessed with bands. Like I dont blame her for wanting me dead cuz hell, I um, I wanna be too" i shrug
"I would care if you did" river says softly "I really would"
"You really mean that?" I ask
"I do" he says and smiles softly
"Well what I'm going to say next won't make you too happy then"
"Youre not thinking about...you know...uh...actually doing that?" He says sorta shakily
"Well, yes and no" I say
"What do you mean?" He asks
"Well, I don't think I could kill myself, but, like if a car was coming and I was on the road, I dont know if I would move, or some dude was about to kill me, I'd probably let him. A couple of months ago I had painkillers for a fracture in my foot and hell I was hoping I would accidently OD so it would look like an accident"
"You seriously feel like that?" He asks
"Most of the time. Almost always. Its so fucking hard to go to school every fucking day when you feel like dying. The only days I haven't felt like I should die or not exist was the day I auditioned for the movie, because I was doing the thing i love most, and all the time I've spent with you today, you make me really happy and I feel ok around you"
"Well, I ain't gonna leave yah, as lobg as you don't leave me" he says
"Sounds like a deal" I smile "but there's still more"
"Ok, tell me everything" he says
"At school im rejected as hell, the people who call me their 'friend' I am sorta just a you know, that side friend, Cruella sperads so many fucking rumors about me, and all the rest of the girls, so I'm lonely as hell. When I first started I used to get pushed and abused around the halls, then i was real sick of it and punched everyone and pushed anyone who touched me, but now no one touches me cuz now they know if people mess with me I will probably break them, but I'm also considered a nerd because I actually do my work in class. Like high school is hell for me"
"Hey well, your not gonna be there for months while we film, and when the movie comes out everyone is gonna be all over you. Youre going to be famous, and all the guys are gonna be all over you. And no one will ever touch you again. And I'll make sure of that" he says
"Cruella will probably just get worse, and the all boys probably wont even care or notice that its me, the boys only want pretty girls, and thats not me." I shrug
"I told you that your really really pretty and absolutely drop dead gorgeous" he says
"I dont know what to say to that to be honest" i say
"Your always gonna be a beautiful girl, you just have accept that" he says softly
"I might one day, but I doubt it" i shrug "anyway I do have to go to school on Monday, whether Rob likes if it or not, or I will be considered a coward and get a heap more shit of everyone" I explain
"Well I'll help convince him that you have to go then"
"Thanks River, you're literally the best" I smile "there's more shit that goes on, but I'm really tired and can't think of them right now"
"Can I ask you something?" He asks
"Yeah"
"You dont ever hurt yourself do you?"
"I'd um, I'd rather not talk about that" I say
"Ok, thats alright, but if you do please dont. Because you worth more than you could imagine"
"Thanks river"
---------
My Aleka's Attic obsession is like hella unhealthy
Like I'm a screamo emo,
Metal, death metal, metalcore, punk, rock ect. If its loud, I fuckinv love it
But
I love acoustic too
And Aleka's Attic is my fave band everrrrrrrrrr omgggggggggg
Its so perf I can't even
YOU ARE READING
River Phoenix Imagine (Waiting For Him)
Fanfiction-"He didn't come back to me that day, or ever again, so now I'll always be Waiting For Him...always and forever"-
