Don't Be Afraid Part 7

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“…Will you marry me?”

She was shocked. She feared so much this moment. On her time away from the show, they got closer. However they never talked about marriage, she never wanted to talk about that actually. She loved him, but it was nothing compared to her feelings for Adam. But Matt seemed so happy, she couldn’t brake his heart, not like that.

“I…” 

He was clearly expecting a yes. His face turned sad and he stood up.

“If you don’t want… It’s ok, I mean…”

She tried to force a smile. 

“No, I want” she said as he stood up “Of c-course I want, I just…” She took his hand.

“Marriage is a huge thing, I’m not sure if I’m prepared to do this again. I have to think about it”

“It’s okay… I should have talked with you about it first, I’m sorry.”

“I promise I’ll think about it okay?” She said

“Okay” 

He kissed her a few times and left. A few seconds later she heard little steps behind her.

“Mommy! Where is Matt? Did he asked you? Will you marry him?”

“Hey, so many questions. Can I get at least a hug first” she said lowering as he ran to her for a hug.

“Do you like him?” She asked

“I like him if you like him” he answered 

“Well…I like him baby. I just don’t know if I want to marry him, does that make any sense?”

“You’re not marrying him?”

“I don’t think so. Is that alright for you?” 

“Yes mommy, it’s okay”

She put him in bed and waited till he was sleeping. She took a shower and went to bed. However as much as she was tired she couldn’t stop thinking. She didn’t want to break Matt’s heart but she couldn’t be with him anymore. But she was afraid that maybe she and Adam wouldn’t work as a couple. She knew he loved her but she wasn’t sure if he would be able to be with her for a long time since his previous relationships didn’t lasted long.

Adam arrived first to the studio again. He was expecting CeeLo to arrive but when he saw the door opening his heart almost stopped. It was her.

“Hi!”she said

“Hi” he said and hugged her.

“CeeLo and Blake didn’t arrived yet?”

“No” he answered “Just me”

They sat down on the couch and an awkward silence remained between them for a few seconds. But there was no one in the room beside them and Adam saw a chance to talk with her.

“Hey… I saw your performance at the TIME 100… It was amazing” he said

“Thank you” she said

Their eyes met and they stayed like that for a few seconds. Adam remembered the morning she left, how she promised to come back and then kissed him. 

“I…I’m still waiting, you know…” He smiled sadly “For you”

“You didn’t had to do that” she said, but actually she was happy to hear that.

“I didn’t even made an effort to it, I mean… Been away from you was much harder” she smiled

And then she remembered the last night, she had to talk with Adam about it.

“Adam I… I need to talk to you”

Her sad face made Adam’s heart stop with fear. What she had to tell him? Why she seemed sad?

“About what?” He asked

But then Blake entered the room, followed by CeeLo. She turned to Adam.

“Maybe later” she said and stood up to hug CeeLo and Blake.

During the blinds shoot Adam was really apprehensive about talking with her. He was afraid to lose the chance to show her that he had really changed. He couldn’t lose her. 

In the break, he was on his trailer when he heard a knock on the door. He opened and saw her, with the same sad face.

“Can we talk?” She asked

“Yes, of course… Come in.” 

She entered the trailer. He closed the door and leaded her to the couch.

“So… What do you want to tell me” he tried to look indifferent but he failed badly.

“I…” She took a deep breath and he saw her eyes fill with tears.

“Christina, you’re scaring me”

“It’s Matt… He… He proposed me”

Adam paralyzed. It was worst than he thought. He instantaneously pictured her with a white dress, kissing Matt. It hurt.

“What?… He…. But… And y-you… W-what did you said?” He asked. His eyes full of tears “You said no, right?”

“I…” She took a while to answer. “No, but…”

He immediately stood up. He wouldn’t bare to hear the worse.

“But I didn’t said yes…” She stood up as well and walked to him. “I told him that I have to think about it.”

He turned to face her and took her hand

“You know I love you, right?” He said touching her face. “You can’t marry him” His voice sounded a little more desperate than he wanted to.

“I know Adam… I just… I’m not sure if-” but he didn’t let her finish.

“What…You’re not sure if I love you more than he does?… I can prove it to you… Just tell me, whatever you want me to do-“

“No” she said running her hands trough his hair. “I’m pretty sure about that” she smiled “I just don’t know if this… If we… Would last, you know”

He chuckled “I can’t blame you for thinking that way” and then his face turned serious. “Listen, I know my last relationships were not very long, but Chris…I never felt this way before. I love you in a way that I thought it wasn’t even possible to. I never thought that been away from someone could be so… painful. When you left, my life kinda stopped, I was in an automatic mode all this time, until you came back…” He could go on and she knew that, if he was not the right guy for her, than who would be?

And then the five minutes alarm ringed outside.

She pulled him closed and kissed him. It was a passionate kiss and it lasted quite long. When they set apart both were breathing hard.

“You can’t marry him” he said again, almost whispering

She looked up at him

“You really changed, don’t you?” 

He smiled “I told you”

“I know…” She said.

She put her lips on his once more and left…

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