My Dearest Friend

Soul Shattering (11).

Since it's my birthday I thought it was the perfect day to update (:

It was hard telling your friends that you’re pregnant.

What am I supposed to say?

Hey, you know Melvin Cain? Oh, yeah who happens to be my best friend? Yeah, him. We had sex with a condom and I still got pregnant. Yeah, we both are Jehovah Witness’s and we sinned. Yes, we kinda aren’t ashamed of what we did. Oh, did I mention that Melvin was drugged. So there might be a chance that my baby is gonna have something. If we even plan on keeping it that is. And no. I am not gonna have an abortion.

Yeah, that will do it.

Not.

I was putting away my books in my locker to get ready to go to first period when I heard a voice. His voice.

“Hannah.” I froze.

I know that voice. That amazing voice. I turn around and there he is.

Hugo Michelson.

“Hugo,” I say.

He smiles showing all his clean white teeth.

Hugo.

He is another guy that was important to me. He was also a Jehovah Witness but then a few major things happen to his life that made him look at like differently. His sister was raped and ever since then he hasn’t been the same.

He lost faith.

“I heard what happen to you. I’m sorry?” His face was all serious it kinda scared me. Hugo was never serious.

“What happen to me?” I asked. Oh. Duh.

My face must have showed what he meant because he laughed. “What happen? Is everything all right with everyone?”

Everyone: the Congregation.

“Uh, I haven’t really been told anything. I have to go to the meeting tomorrow and have a talk with the Elders. I’m not gonna lie. I’m scared.”

Hugo grimaced. “I know what you mean. You don’t think you are gonna get expelled are you?”

I felt my eyes go wide. “I hope not. Right now Melvin and I can’t comment or anything. But we can still go to service.”

Hugo’s eyes showed understating. “I see.”

“Hugo,” I sighed. “What happen to us?” I hear myself ask.

He stares at me for a long time, it takes my breath away. “You know what happen. You didn’t talk to me because it was against what we believe in.”

He was right. Whenever someone was expelled you couldn’t talk to them. If you did talk to them it was acknowledging that what they did was exceptional. His wasn’t.

“Yeah, sorry. Stupid question.” I looked down. I did feel stupid for asking that.

“Hey, no. No.” He moved closer to me and with his hands lifted my chin up. We were so close our noses could touch.

I stared into his blue eyes while he stared into my green ones.

“Hannah.” He breathed.

“Hugo.” I breathed.

Hugo was my first crush. But Melvin was my first love.

It doesn’t make sense to me at this point. When it came to love/crush I was a hopeless case.

I didn’t mean what I did next. Maybe at that point but not after.

I closed my eyes and moved my lips to Hugo’s.

It started gentle but the next thing you know we are kissing passionately. There was so much emotion behind this kiss. It was breath-taking.

I felt as if my heart might explode.

Like my heart was shattering.

I knew Hugo felt the same. His hands rapped around my waist and he pulled me closer.

There was a time when Hugo said he loved me but I didn’t believe him since we were both eight. Both his mother and mine are best friends. Only Hugo and I were interested in the Truth. You would have thought that he would be my best friend but no. Melvin is my best friend. Sure, Hugo and I grow up together. Literally. But there is something about Melvin that I loved more than Hugo.

Hugo kept kissing me, it felt like he didn’t want to let go. He was telling the truth. He was in love with me. And me responding to him with the kiss was killing him.

I can’t do this to him.

“Hugo,” I said.

“Mhmm?” Hugo responded.

I pulled away and I saw the hurt on his face. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”

With that I left.

When I was in my car I cried.

Even from this far I could felt Hugo’s soul shattering.

Just like mine.