It Goes There // Josh Dun + Twenty One Pilots

epilogue // don't look back in anger

Sometimes I still had people ask me if I regretted my relationship with Garrett and every time I always respond the same way. I regretted the outcome, but I never regretted being with Garrett. He gave me so many things that I would never be able to take back.

After the shooting, I was in the hospital for a week while the doctors ran some tests on me. That's when I found out something that shocked me to the core. I was at least three weeks pregnant.

Believe me, I know what you are thinking. How stupid could I possibly be? However, a lot of teenagers make mistakes and they always try to fix them. Apparently, Garrett and I failed at fixing ours.

Denahi kept asking me who the father was and at first I wasn't sure until I really thought about it. The baby couldn't be Josh's because he and I were extremely careful and nothing went wrong. A few days after that happened, Garrett and I did the exact same thing, except the condom broke. We ended up going to get the day after pill, but I guess we weren't fast enough.

My mother was furious and I couldn't blame her, but Noah was the one that stood up for me. He was the one that explained that stuff like this happens. A lot of teenagers have pregnancy scares and most of them are lucky enough for it to just be a scare. As for me, mine was a reality. Noah also pointed it out that my mother was seventeen when she had Harper and I was only a few months away from seventeen.

My brother's comments made my mother become a little more accepting to the idea of me being a mother when I was seventeen. It wasn't like I was going to go back to school and be looked down upon. I was already looked down upon for the fact that I dated Garrett Thomas.

On January thirteenth 2017, which also happened to be national Rubber Ducky Day, I welcomed my son, Jonathan Hugo Joshua Thomas. My mother fought for him to not take on Garrett's last name. She wanted him to have the last name Beaumont, which I was dead set against. No matter what Garrett done, he was still my son's father and I was going to make sure that was known.

Surprising myself and my family, I managed to juggle going to school and taking care of my son. I even became valedictorian of my senior class. Denahi was a bit apprehensive of me going off to college with Jonathan, but he couldn't argue since I got a full ride to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill for journalism. I loved writing and I earned my degree in just over two years.

I was one of those students that was very indecisive about what she wanted to do with her life. All throughout my junior and senior, I couldn't decide between journalism or film making, so I made a choice that fit me. I got my journalism degree first and then attended the University of North Carolina School of the Arts at Winston-Salem for two years before getting my degree.

After I finished school, I debated over whether to return to Columbus or not. Jonathan just had turned five and I didn't know if I wanted him to go to the school where everyone knew who his father was. I decided that it was best that he grew up around his family, so we headed back home.

When we arrived back home, I was surprised to find out that Elodie and Tyler were married and a child, a little boy named Joshua. After I jumped in front of Elodie, she became a better person. She apologized for every mean thing she had ever said to Garrett and I and her and I even became friends, but drifted apart once we graduated. Tyler was still struggling with the fact that Josh died before he could apologize to him. I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at me.

Sometimes I forgot that other people were affected by Garrett's choices, not just me. I think about the fact that if I hadn't forgot my history book, Aiden would have been in the cafeteria when the shooting started. He could have died, but instead he was in his car because of my textbook. The fact that I left it at his house was something that I would always be grateful for because my best friend was here and uninjured because of it.

And seventeen years later, I never thought I would be married to him. Aiden and I sort of lost touch when I moved away to North Carolina while he stayed in Columbus and attended community college. However, as soon as Jonathan and I came back, he was there for us.

When he asked me out for the fist time, I was surprised to figure out that he had a crush on me since we first met, but he was too afraid to say anything because I knew of his transgender status. That's something that he felt guilty about today. He felt bad that we couldn't have a child of our own while I, on the other hand, was perfectly fine with adopting another child once Jonathan reached his junior year.

I was still amazed on how Jonathan turned out. He was the spitting image of Garrett, but had my entire personality. He was laid back and carefree, but still had a raging temper that he was trying to learn how to control. I, however, was just happy that he wasn't depressed and that he could sleep normally. Dark circles still appeared under his eyes no matter how much he slept though.

Some of the teachers at White Chapel who knew Garrett and still worked there told me at parent teacher conferences that they were amazed how much he looked like his dad. I was amazed myself. Aiden watched him pull into the driveway one day in Garrett's Camaro that we let him drive and he told me later on that day that if he didn't know Jonathan, he would say that Garrett was the one driving.

Approaching the topic of Garrett murdering seven people and then committing suicide to Jonathan was very difficult to do. He understood that his father wasn't mentally stable, but he didn't know whether to think of him as being evil or not.

A few months back, he told me that a few of his friends stopped in front of the display case and pointed out that he shared the same names as Hugo and Joshua and looked like Garrett. Jonathan chose not to tell his friends about his relation to anyone in that case; however you would think they could piece it together themselves, but he told me that he was sick of hiding who he was. He explained to his friends that Hugo was his uncle, Garrett was his father, and I was his mother. He didn't go into detail about why he had the middle name Joshua, but he did point to Josh's picture and say that he died a hero.

That's why, as we stood in front of the memorial case for the victims of the 2016 White Chapel school shooting, I smiled at my son before squeezing his shoulders.

"Sometimes I wonder what he was really like," Jonathan remarked. "Like how did he act around people he loved. He couldn't have been filled with anger and be unhappy every moment of everyday."

I sighed. "You'd be surprised on how your father was. He was the most impulsive, angry, and sad person I had ever met, but I loved him all the same. He gave me you."

Jonathan nodded his dark head towards Josh's picture. "Did you love him too? He told me that you were dating him when the shooting happened."

I nodded, my plain blonde hair falling across my face. "Yes, I loved Joshua. They both were amazing people that I couldn't help but love even if they had their demons."

Jonathan crossed his arms, reading the plaque under his father's name, which said Garrett Wolfgang Thomas, 18. "The two years you were with my dad, were you happy?"

I pulled my son, who was a good head taller than me, into a hug. "Yes, I was happy, Jonathan."

My eyes scanned over my loved ones and I could still feel the familiar ache in my shoulder and the sadness in my heart.

"I had the time of my life."

A/N: And that's end of It Goes There. This was so fun to write and I hope every single one of you enjoyed reading it.

Sadly, Chicago's story is over, but the prologue of my Billie Joe Armstrong story is up and I would love it if you would check it out. A new update of Avenir is coming soon as well as a new Tyler short story, so keep your eyes peeled.

Also, feel free to follow me on twitter @/L0vesickmelody where you ask me any type of questions you want or we can become friends.

Finally, once again, I hope you enjoyed this crazy ride called It Goes There.

-L.A