Forever and Always//Harry Styles

chapter 10

Addy's POV

all I've been doing today is sit in the camper and read. I texted Harry a little but he was with his family most of the time.

it's dark outside now and I'm about to go sit on the beach. I've been thinking a lot today, about me and Harry. I can't stand to be the person that puts him through this worry. and I don't know if I can do that to him much longer. sitting on the beach always helps me clear my thoughts so it's worth a shot.

I get up and grab my sweatshirt. mom said I could wear it for a little bit but needed to take it off as soon as possible.

"mom I'm going to sit on the beach. I have my taser and phone so I'll be okay this time" I tell mom

"okay. be safe" she mutters back

I step outside my camper and walk towards the beach, feeling instantly relaxed as I reach the sand.

I go up to the where the waves end and sit. just staring at the water.

i feel someone come and sit beside me. Harry.

"hey" he says quietly

"hey" I whisper

"you okay?" he asks

and in that moment I decide to tell him that I can't do this anymore. I can't stand to see him get hurt like this.

"I can't do this" I breathe out

"what do mean this?"

"this. as in us" my voice cracks. of course I would cry at this time

"why though?"

"you're gonna get hurt Harry. my dad will hurt you, and every time that I go missing or I get hurt by him you're gonna worry your life away and I can't be the reason behind that." I cry

"I don't care if I get hurt, Addy. I just want to be with you" he says grabbing my chin with hand and my hip with the other so I'm facing him.

"I can't live with myself knowing that you're always worrying about me. it's not fair to you and you don't deserve any of it"

"I don't give a shit. I'll get hurt. that's okay. you don't need to worry about me. I just wanna be with you" he starts to cry

we stop talking for about five minutes. the only thing to be heard is our cries and the waves.

"you didn't hear me say that I loved you the other night did you" he whispers

I sigh deeply "I did. I just didn't know if you still meant it"

"of course I still meant it. that's why I'm not gonna let you push me away like this" he almost yells

there's a minute of silence.

"you have to let me go" i say barely a whisper

"I love you too much to let you go this easily" he whispers back

"I'm sorry" I say and begin to stand up

"Addy please" he says looking up to me sobbing now "look you can leave me. okay? but I'm going to wait for you. as long as it takes. I'm going to wait for you, and when you're ready I'm going to be there. because I will love you forever and always. and I'll never stop loving you"

"I'm so so sorry." I say and begin to walk away. but before I do I turn around to see him again

"I love you." I cry "that's why I'm doing this"

and then I walk away. I can hear his sobs which only makes me cry more.

I walk back to the camper and see Landon and mom sitting outside. they see me and Landon jumps up giving me a hug. I press my head against the crook of her neck and sob more than I ever have before in my life.

"I let him go" I cry into her neck

"what?" she asks

"I can't stand to see him get hurt" i say I'm between sobs "I love him too much"

"I know you do. it'll be okay" she tries to comfort me

"he told me that he would wait for me. and that he'll love me forever. and when I'm ready for him he'll be there, waiting. because he doesn't wanna love anyone else" I sob

"shh" she rubs my hair "it's gonna be okay. I promise"

...

Harry's POV

I walk back to my camper crying. as I reach mine I hear Addy crying. making my heart hurt worse if even possible.

nana sees me crying and walks up to me to give me a hug.

"what happened sweetie?"

"she said she didn't want me to get hurt. and that she loved me too much to see me get hurt. so she made me let her go. but I told her I wouldn't, and I won't. I'm gonna love her forever. and when she's ready for me I'll be there, waiting. because I'll always love her" I cry into nanas shoulder.

"sweetie she's just afraid. she'll come around. she loves you way too much to let you go, I know that. she's just had a rough past and doesn't know how to trust a man. loving one probably scares her to death. and you will get hurt, and she doesn't want to see that. it's only because she loves you" she explains

"why does this hurt so damn much" I sob

"because you're in love, and when that love gets broken it hurts like hell." she says

I nod. "I just want to sleep. and maybe in the morning I'll feel better"

"okay sweetie, I'll tell your mom and dad what's going on. and remember, she does love you. just give her time"

I go into the camper and lay down, not even bothering to change clothes.

I pick up my phone and see a message

addy-I love you so much. please remember that.

me-I love you. and always will. please remember that.

I finish crying and lay down. falling asleep fast.

I love her so much that it's unhealthy.

...

sooo I'm crying. and this chapter is really freaking short so I'm sorry about that.

next chapter will be happier maybe. maybe.

thanks for reading. all the love.

-A