Hilarious Quotes

20-30 Year Olds Quotes

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Is it just me, or are 80% of the 'people you know' feature on Facebook people that I DO know, but deliberately choose not to be friends with?

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

I think everybody has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyones laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

LOL has gone from meaning 'laugh out loud' to 'I have nothing else to say”.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a NECAP test is absolutely petrifying. DONE 10/8/11

Whenever someone says “I'm not book smart, I'm street smart” all I hear is “I'm not real smart, I'm imaginary smart.”

How many times is it appropriate to say, “What?” before you just nod and smile because you didn't hear what they said?

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell one of my friend's names to my mother and said, “Yes thats G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummmm....Goonies.”

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first THEN turn the water on.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

LOL right?