Even in Darkness

Chapter two

It was a chilly foggy April morning. I was very grateful for my sweatshirt. The walk to Jason's apartment usually took close to 25 minutes.
Jason was a couple years older than me. He was 24 and I was 18. Our mother died 3 years ago. She was driving home after a late shift and was hit by a drunk driver. She died in the helicopter on the way to the hospital.
To say our family had been devastated was an understatement. Jason was deployed in Iraq at the time. He was lucky enough to get leave to come to the funeral. He had his own place but stayed at our house to help out with the funeral.
I don't think I've ever cried as much before as I did in the first few weeks she was gone. I didn't go to school and when Jason was home he would sit on the couch with me and tell me everything would be ok. The only time I could sleep was when he was by my side.
Jim began drinking in the days after the funeral. He would stumble in the front door after midnight and go straight to his room to sleep it off until he had to go to work in the morning. He wouldn't come home after work either. I figured he left work and went right to the bar. Jason bad been my rock for his entire two weeks of leave.
Jim didn't start knocking me around until a couple months after the funeral. I was shocked at first and didn't know how to handle it. I tried being polite and compliant, hoping it would stop. When it didn't stop, I stopped caring and started getting smart with him. Jim  never seemed to remember hitting me in the morning. Sometimes he would act concerned or offer to take me to the doctor. It was very confusing. I tried telling him one morning and I was called a liar. I haven't brought it up since.
After I graduated high school I tried to get my own place but I didn't make enough money or have any credit. I didn't really have any friends to stay with either. Now that Jason was home I had been trying to talk him into letting me stay with him. He only had a two bedroom apartment and his best friend, Ryan, from highschool lived with him. They were really close and had even enlisted in the army together and were on the same deployment to Iraq. I tried to tell Jason about Jim hitting me, several times but it was hard to get the words out. Jason would kill Jim if he knew. I was usually careful about hiding my bruises when he was around.

I was only a couple blocks from his apartment. I pulled my phone out and checked again. It was almost 8:30 and there still was no response from Jason. I climbed the steps to the apartment building and hit the buzzer for 6b. There was no response. I quickly hit the button three more times. Still nothing. I hit the button six more times. Then I ran my finger and hit the button for 10 different apartments. Someone buzzed me in. I made my way through the door and chose the elevator over the stairs.
I reached the 6th floor and the door beeped as it opened. His door was only a couple down from the elevator. I knocked several times. I heard some thumping noises and the sound of foot prints heading to the door.
"Do you know what time it is?" I heard as the door was opening. A very tired Ryan was standing in the doorway in just his boxers.
"Oh, Jordan. What happened?" He said, his expression turning to concern.
"Nothing..." I replied confused.
"Your face?" He asked reaching out to touch me.
"Oh, yeah. I tripped." I said nonchalantly as I pulled from his touch.
"Don't bullshit me, Jordan. Who hit you and what are you doing with the bag?"
"Is Jason here?" I asked looking over his shoulder.
"No. He's spending the week with his girlfriend, Valerie. She's going to school in Columbus," he said.
"Is it cool if I just hang out here while he's gone?"
"I don't know... Jason wouldn't like it" He sighed running his hand through his messy hair.
"Please? I'll stay out of your way. I'll even leave before he comes home. He doesn't have to know," I begged.
"I guess. Come in. I'll make some coffee," Ryan said turning around.
I walked through the doorway and closed the door behind me. I couldn't help but to notice his toned back as he walked ahead of me. He walked into his room and shut the door. He came back out seconds later with a pair of sweatpants on.
Ryan had dark blonde hair and blue green eyes.  He was toned and muscular. He was around 6 feet tall. Ryan was always at my house when I was younger, him and Jason were practically brothers.
"Sorry you saw me like that. I wasn't expecting anyone so early," he said walking into the kitchen.
"It's ok. I'm sorry to bother you. I tried calling and texting Jason and haven't heard back," I replied. "I thought he was still here sleeping."
"Have a seat. Make yourself at home," he joked.
I sat down on the couch and dropped my duffle bag on the floor. I looked around. It was really clean for a bachelor pad. It was also pretty plain. The living room had a couch, coffee table, and a tv and entertainment center. The walls were bare. The aroma of fresh coffee finally reached the living room.
Ryan carefully sat two mugs on the coffee table and sat beside me.
"Thank you,"
"Are you going to tell me who did that to you?" He asked as his mug touched his lips.
"No one. I told you I tripped," I replied.
"Don't bullshit me. You're here for a reason. Was it your boyfriend? Are you seeing anyone?" He pleaded.
I sighed, "I'm not seeing anyone. Can we drop it please?"
"You know you're like my own little sister. You can tell me anything,"
I didn't reply.
Ryan didn't say anything else for awhile. We both sat in silence and drank our coffee.
"I've have to work later. Do you have any plans?" He asked.
"I have to go to class and work for a couple hours after," I replied.
"I'll get you the spare key. You can sleep in Jason's room. Feel free to anything in the kitchen," he said.
"Thanks again. When will Jason be back?"
"Late Sunday night or early Monday. He hasn't decided yet. He just left yesterday," he got up off the couch and headed to his room. "Let me know if you need anything," he said closing the door behind him.
I grabbed my bag and headed to Jason's room. His room was messy compared to the rest of the house. Dirty clothes were all over the floor. His dresser drawers were hanging open and clothes were spilling out. His bed wasn't made. There was dust on top of his dresser and a strip of condoms hung out of his nightstand.
I pulled the sheets off the bed and piled all of his dirty laundry into a basket. I neatly folded his clothes and put them into his dresser, making sure they drawers closed all the way.
I took the pile of dirty sheets out of the room and put them in the washing machine with some detergent. I then made my way back to my temporary room and shoved the condoms into the drawer. My brother actually needing those was an image I didn't need haunting my dreams.
I heard my phone ding across the room. It was a text from Jason. "Sorry, in C-bus w/ Val. What's up?"
"Nothing. Tell her I said hi.  Have fun" I replied.
It was 10:30 my first class was at 12. I left my bag and all of my books at home. But by now Jim should have already been at work.
I knocked on the door to Ryan's room.
He opened the door, still shirtless. "I've got to go to class now. Can I get the spare key?" I asked.
"Yeah. I was just getting ready for work," he replied, walking past me to the kitchen. He pulled open a drawer and handed me the key.
"Thanks. I'll see you later," I said and headed out the door.