The Best Man {h.s.}

31

The sound of a fork banging against a glass pulls me away from my thoughts and I look up, noticing that the short bridesmaid with the super curly hair, Karen I think, is standing up, ready to say something.

"I know the speech isn't my job as a bridesmaid, but before tomorrow I just wanted to say a couple of things to the bride and groom."

I think for a moment, wondering if I should be making a speech tonight and feeling slightly guilty for not preparing anything, but getting over it a millisecond later.

"I'm just so thankful that you've asked not only me, but all of us to be a part of the most important day of your life. I'm absolutely blown away by the amount of adoration you two have for each other. Ben, the way you look at Chloe is the way every girl should want to be looked at by the one they love. It's incredible, and something I think everyone in this room hopes to have for themselves if they don't already have it."

My heart sinks, feeling like I could cry at any second thinking about the fact that I did have it. I fucking had it with the most incredible guy, and now it's gone.

"I'm going to read a quote from a love letter written by Nathanial Hawthorne to his wife, Sophia. It reads, 'How did I love before I knew you - before I possessed your affection. I reckon upon your love as something that is to endure when everything that can perish has perished - though my trust is sometimes mingled with fear, because I feel myself unworthy of your love. But if I am worthy of it you will always love me; and if there be anything good and pure in me, it will be proved by my always loving you.'"

I stand up, feeling the tears begin to fall as well as feeling like the entire room is closing in on me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, grabbing my purse and running out of the room. I try to compose myself enough through the restaurant before I get outside. The hostess looks at me, confused and sad as I push the doors open with tears in my eyes and step out into the pouring rain. Quickly handing the valet driver my ticket, he disappears to go retrieve my car and I stand on the sidewalk, getting completely soaked but not caring whatsoever.

I just need to get out of here.

"Emma!" I close my eyes at the sound of Harry's voice. He comes up behinds me and grabs my arm, turning me to face him. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what, Harry?" I throw my arms in the air, my tears blending in with the rain as it continues to pour down upon us.

"This. All of this. Why are you pushing me away? Why are you so scared to believe that I would never, ever do anything to hurt you?"

"Because you did hurt me! I watched it happen! And I'm sorry, but I just can't erase that from my fucking memory."

"Jesus, Emma." He throws his head back in annoyance before extending his arms to the side. "Why can't you fucking believe me that I had no idea what she was doing! Why would I want to do that to you? To us!"

The rain starts falling even harder than before and by now the two of us are completely drenched. I look at him, letting a few sobs escape as I wrap my arms around my stomach, unsure of what to say. The driver pulls my car up to the curb and I exhale, thankful that I now have a way to escape.

"Can you do something for me?" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, grabbing my hand and closing my fingers around it. "I want you to read this, and afterwards I want to think about your future. If you can see yourself truly feeling happy, happy without me in the picture then that's fine. We can go our separate ways and I'll leave you alone from now on. But if you can't, then don't fucking give up on this, Emma. Please don't. I don't want to lose you. I can't."

The valet driver gets out of the car, walking up next to me and handing me my keys. I squeeze the paper in my hands, looking at Harry with every ounce of love and sadness I have in my heart.

"I have to go," I say, leaving him standing in the pouring rain while I get in my car and drive away.

-----------------------

Happy Wednesday, lovelies!

I am completely taken aback by all of your kind words. You guys are truly making me so incredibly happy, you have no idea. :)

Hoping to have another double update today. Fingers crossed that I can pull it off 3 days in a row!

xx