Easier Said Than Done (Spencer Reid Fan Fiction)

Chapter 1 - Home

I remember the first night back in my apartment in Quantico, Virginia. I'd arrived home late -2.40am to be exact- after nearly 4 months of work placement in South Carolina.
My eyelids felt as though I'd attempted to glue them shut in hopes of sleep on the plane, and my bags seemed to weigh twice as much as they had when I left the hotel the previous day. I remember being so dreadfully tired that I didn't even notice Spencer's hand dramatically waving in my face or the weight of one less bag in my grasp. All I could do was stare at him and hope he knew I was too tired to function.

We drove in silence towards my apartment and after an effortless few minutes of lame excuses of why he couldn't, I somehow agreed to let Spencer stay the night. It was expected of me to complete a full 6-month placement in South Carolina, but I had decided to end it early and come home. Spencer's mental health had me increasingly worried and when I received a call from one of my best friends and Spencer's college at the BAU, Jennifer Jareau, I realized it was better for me to be home to support Spencer.

He refused to get help and it frustrated me that I couldn't possibly convince him to at least talk to someone. Spencer always used the excuse that he had people to talk to, that he could manage. But everyone around him could see him spiraling out of control and as much as he tried, he couldn't hide it. Spencer was stubborn, and that was something he would never grow out of.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was 6 in the morning and I woke from the sound of inaudible whimpering and of running water. I opened my eyes to see a streak of light across the foot of my bed and turned to notice the bathroom door sitting slightly ajar. The whimpering turned into sobs and I suddenly realized what was probably going on behind the door.

Tossing the pile of blankets to one side, I rushed across the room and made my way into the bathroom. It took me a moment before I noticed Spencer's limp body leaning against the shower frame under cold running water. I hurried to turn the tap off and grabbed a towel from the shelf in the corner, slowly reaching for his shoulders I began to attempt to keep him dry. Whispering softly "It will be okay" over and over again, I noticed the way his damp hair hung over his eyes, as if he was ashamed to look at me and as if he couldn't bare me seeing him in that state. He just held his head lower and avoided eye contact.

I felt bad. That I had been too tired to even consider that he might not have been okay. I felt bad that I didn't realize that the reason he was so desperate to stay with me that night was because he was hurting.

"Spencer... what's happened? What did you do?" He said nothing but leaned towards me, weakly pulling me closer until he could hear my heartbeat. I thought I heard him faintly whisper something but I couldn't understand between his sobs.

"Spence... I'm going to find you a clean shirt, okay? You will catch a cold if you don't change out of this wet one." I said as I headed to the living room as quickly as possible, I didn't want to leave him alone. He only nodded slightly in response.

After tossing everything on the couch where Spencer had been sleeping onto the floor, I found a long sleeved grey button up shirt and hurried back to the bathroom. Grabbing another towel, I helped him to his feet and lead him to my bed. I turn around to gather blankets off the floor while he changed. After making sure he was warm enough, I quietly slipped into bed.

I pulled him closer to me as he cried for a while until he fell asleep, his breath unsteady and slow. I lay awake for nearly an hour before I too finally fell asleep as the sun began to creep slowly into the sky and the sounds of the city early in the morning could be heard in the distance.