it takes a while to find
but if i place my thumb just right
pushing down on my skin
only enough
to slightly block the vein
the thick one
on my neck
i can feel my blood
begging to proceed it's route
and sometimes
i just want it to stop altogether
i don't want blood pumping
through these veins anymore
i really don't
but i'm too scared
i'm too fucking scared
of what's on the other side of life
what is death like?
even though it terrifies me
i'm curious to see
because i'm not even living
hell
i'm barely surviving
so why not feed my curiosity
and conquer my fear
even if it kills me
