Alive and lifeless

Wounds that were never healed

Asslamu alaikum brothers(although my guess is this book will only be read by female lovelies) and habibtis. This is my first time writing a book so please be easy on me . This is a Muslim story . If you have anything good to say I will really appreciate it and if you don't, don't say anything . Thx XD. Jazhakhallahu khairan .
Chapter 1
Salsabeel Omar

"Its okay Hayu . Everything happens for a reason. Trust Allah ."

She is slowly fading away. I reach out for her. My lungs starts to burn .I try calling her but I can't . I can't breathe. Her turquoise eyes turns red . I can't breathe. I can't let her go again . I can't.. Bre

I jerked up awake . I feel sweat against my back slowly traveling down. I focus on my breathing for a few moments, taking in my environment. My bedroom. The black walls resembling the void in my heart. I look at my glowing clock stating 4.56 . I got up to take wudu. Without me realizing I started to cry. I miss her. Of all people why did it have to be her ? Astagfirullah it's like suspecting the Qadr of Allah. I silently take wudu and pray two rakaat of nafiil prayers(optional prayers). I cry my heart out to my Lord. I waited til Subuh. After praying I settled down on my carpeted floor and look at my ceiling. The ceiling which was once filled with the picture of both of us. I think about our happy times, the sad times,the times where we go cow shit with each other. Silent tears escaping from my already swollen eyes . Slowly sleep overtakes my senses. And I slept with a heavy heart
~~~~~~<<<<<<<<<><>>>>~~~~~~
" Wake up Sallu" Ughhh monsters in the morning ...
"Sallu wake up or I swear I will throw your turquoise colored hijab and converse." Okay that got me to jolt awake. My bro saw me and burst into fits of laughter , I hate my brother he is like the most annoying ape in the whole civilization.
"Just get lost Hamid and stop calling me Sallu" i grumbled and threw a pillow at him.Not bothering to see whether it hit him or not, I got up and went to take a shower . Last night I slept on the floor itself .Hamid by now got used to me sleeping on the floor sometimes and doesn't really mention anything about it to Mom or Pops which I'm really grateful for .I don't even have the mood to go to the Uni, but not everything happens as you wish. This is one of the reason life sucks. If she was here and heard me saying that life sucks, she would have given me a long pep talk.. I found it annoying and wished she would just shut up, little did I knew that she will get shut away from my life. I feel so empty and imcomplete as if my heart was misplaced with some other organs . The feeling of being dead when alive. Lifeless.

I got out of the shower went to my wardrobe. I took a black skirt and white  shirt  that reached my knees I paired it with a light green or should I say blue-ish green hijab.I looked at myself one last time at the mirror to make sure I look okay and headed out. As I was walking down the stairs I smelt bacon. That really lifted my mood . I mean , come on its food . I went to the dining room to hear Hafsa whining about the number of pancakes Hamid took. The guy really eats like a caveman. Trust me im not exaggerating,he eats likes a man who was left in the jungle starving  for a month. 
"Assalamu alaikum lovelies " I went and kissed my mom on the cheeks . And ruffled Hamid's hair. He grumbled and tried to swat my hand away and he ended up hitting himself on the head and whined 'Dumbo' I laughed .
'Stop messing with your brother Salssabeel!"my mom chided but she looked amused
'Momsy where's Pops ?' I inquired . She sighed "He left for China early in the morning habibti" Dad has this habit of working too much . He stresses himself and sometimes it really scares my mother. Well he wasn't like this when she was here . I heaved a great sigh and went to take a few bacon and some scrambles eggs. I really didn't think I could stomach pancakes now. Hmmmm it's like heaven on a plate. Who can resist bacon and scrambled eggs? I always hear girls in my Uni declining bacon as they are on diet. I just want to go there and give them a piece of my mind. Whatever, they simply don't know what they are missing in life . I just eat my breakfast and go out of the house saying salaam to mom and go to my baby a BMW  convertible . It was a black one. I got it for my eighteenth birthday.
"Sis" saw Hamid running down the stairs
"What do you want loser ??" He rarely calls me sis unless he wants something from me. He was scratching the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly.
"I need a ride to school" he said with the best puppy look he could do but let me enlighten you, a puppy would have begged me to kill it if it saw the look on his face.
"What happened to your ride?" I asked annoyed. His best buddy, Jaseer always picks him up. Basically he is like my useless bro'a personal chauffeur. When I heard about it I suspected that Hamid was paying him or else who could stand my dumb bro everyday? Whatever I don't want him to get in my baby.
"He is not feeling well and I can't really arrange a ride now. I'm am running late for school . Come on sis I thought you were the most kindest in our family ,so I asked you . Don't do this to me sis." He said faking hurt.
" Stop being a drama queen and no. Walk to school or take a bus loser!"
I started my car and moved slowly. He knows what he should do next.
" Okay Sal, you can use my credit card for two weeks!" I stopped my car for a bit and acted like thinking about it. Then I shook my head silently and kept going out on the streets, increasing the spend just a little. He started jogging a little" Fine a month and I will not call you Sallu" he shouted and I did the evil laugh internally and stopped the car. He came jogging. "Get in loser" I said with grin on my face. "Don't think that I'm helping you just for your stupid credit card, I'm just doing it coz I have a big heart. Don't you think so?" I asked with a challenging look , he should know better than to disagree.
He faked a smiled and agreed. If you are wondering if I have a credit card of my own or not. I have but the allowance is low compared to Hamid's and my allowance for the month is gone. I asked my dad to changed my card to platinum but he knew about my excessive spending habits and disagreed. I asked Hamid a few times to lend me his card but he being  the big-headed jerk said no. Since I have his card now, I was thinking to go to the newly opened Gucci outlet after Uni. I dropped Hamid and headed to my Uni. I studied in one of the most renowned University in the world. Well if you think that I'm one of the rich  spoiled brat. Maybe I am but a intelligent one. But I'm not like the extreme ones it's just that I rely on some people to do my chores. Like making my bed,washing my dishes, cleaning my room. And making my food coz I don't know how to cook. One of the best things I can do in the kitchen is a DISASTER. Well if you are so dumb to think its a dish, no it's not.

I entered Uni after texting Hamid to not fade open his mouth about our deal in the morning to anyone and guess whose face I saw the first? It was Jonathan. He is part of the famous clique in the Uni. The F9. Its a clique of 9 people. According to the girls in my Uni they have looks to die for. They are loaded. And thats all matters to the girls in the Uni. And they all love to annoy me. Why? I don't know. Well back to current happenings.
He is walking towards me with a smirk that I really wanna wipe off by punching his face. I ignored him and started to walk to my first lesson Anatomy. I heard his footsteps. " Well if its wasn't for the famous and one of a kind Salsabeel Omar." I heard his annoying voice and turned around to really beat the crap out of him.
" Yes, Mr Obnoxious how may I help ? And thanks for the compliment. " I said with a fake sweet smile
" ooh you are most welcome darling" he  advanced towards me and reached for my hand. I swiftly folded my hands my gave him a challenging look.
" Oh come on Sal, I know you can't resist me" he took another step forward and I stepped back. I calculated the steps he has to take to be very close to me which I wouldn't even want a bit. He tried to come closer and I had enough. I quickly kneed him where the sun doesn't shine and twisted his arm making him yelp in pain or should I say  surprised
" Next time think twice when you wanna lay your filthy hands on me. And it's Salsabeel for you."
" okay Sal I mean Salsabeel let me go. I'm sorry" he squirmed. Huh shame on him for acting all tough and inside being a coward. I let him coz I don't wanna keep my hands on his haram body any longer than necessary. "Well bye Johnathan. I hope we don't see each other today, coz the fun is enough for today." I took a step forward just a bit to make sure I looked threatening and making sure I wasn't too close.
" This time i just twisted your arm next time expect to be suffering from multiple fractures in all parts of your body" I said glaring at him for about two seconds and and plastered as sweet smile on my face and walked away.
I felt like so brave man. I'm sure that he will go running to the  "king" of the clique, Reyan, to complain about our mini encounter. So by break time I expect a disaster happening to me. Maybe he would kill me by poisoning my food. I guess I should not eat today. Haha kidding. I don't think he is even brave enough to do that. He might just stomp up to me and confront me. I went to my lecture hall to se Mr Rosewood already teaching the lesson. His back was facing the board and he was writing chunks of notes on the board, he is so old school. Who even uses the whiteboard nowadays? I took my chance and stealthily slipped on the class to my seat which is in the third column. My best friend, Aminah saw this and fist bumped me. I was literally doing the happy dance in my mind.
Aaminah passed a slip of note to me

Aminah: why are you late ?

Sal:Jonathan stopped me for a chat

Aminah: why do say like he is your friend???

Sal: Sarcasm Aminah. Ever heard of it?

Aminah: Haha sorry. What was it this time???

Sal: Nothing  serious. He tried to touch me and simply kneed him, I don't wanna mention where and twisted an arm<insert evil laugh>

Aminah: haha girl. I love you man. Omg are you sure that Reyan would not do anything???im scared man

Sal: I don't know girl I'm expecting a counter attack by today. Just relax and listen to Mr Rosewood

~~~<<<<break time<>>>>>>>~~~~

I went to the cafeteria and sat down in our usual table. All my other friends were there. I sat down and saw that Layla and Amanda were arguing about something. I nudged Mandy " what is it about? "
" they are arguing which is the better. Chicken Nuggets in ice cream or Chicken Nuggets in chocolate cream." She said with a bored look.
I rolled my eyes. "Ewww. Both combo makes me puke man . I swear I'm gonna kill these two one day." Layla and Amanda always have wierd arguments. Like the one that is happening right now . But I don't really contribute as I think it's so stupid.
" Guys where is Aminah?" I asked to no one particularly.
Before anyone could answer I heard an announcement through the system. Which made me want to dig a hole and hide myself in there and never come out.
"Salsabeel Omar of year 3 please come to the Dean's office now"
Gosh what did I do now ??

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