Chapter 1

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Okay, so, I hope this story is better than all my other ones. Because, I know, they are really bad. So, let's just hope this nook is better. Oh, and also, this book includes some depressing stuff, and may trigger some people. If you can't handle it, then just skip over the part.
Okay? Love you all, enjoy.

Aprils POV
I lay there, wide awake. It's currently Monday, January 1st, 4:00AM. I havem't gotten any sleep, even though it's a school night. I went to 'bed'at 10:30, and I've been awake ever since. I havem't exactly been laying here ever since, I've been in multiple places. The bathroom, The Floor, My Closet. Now, you're probably wondering 'Why would you be in your closet?'. Well, the reason I was in my closet, was because I was in my secret room, that is behind my closet wall. Nobody knows about it- which is odd because the people who sold the house didn't even take a second glance at it. In my Secret Room, I have all my journals, Valuables, and my mini fridge. For when I get hungry at night, which happens often. Mostly because I don't usually sleep, because my thoughts are always on the go, or I'm to sad to sleep. It really sucks. I am amazing at school - I always get good grades. Which I don't know how I do, seeing as i'm sleep deprived. I take a glance at the clock, and see it's now 5:00am. It's been an hour already? I aigh, standing up. I guess that's another sleepless night. I walk to my Blue dresser, Grabbing my black towel, and my phone off of it. Once I grab my Towel, I throw it over my shoulder, turning my phone on. I start to walk to my Bathroom, scrolling through my notifications. But, I wish I didn't. All I ever get is hate, and I don't know why. Don't people understand how heartbreaking it is, to wake up - well get up, and have to read these kind of messeges?
I read them over, repeating them over and over in my head.
'Slut'
'Ugly whore'
'Kill Yourself'
'Ew, It's a dog!'
'You're a disgrace'
'You're not good enough to be Liams Daughter, Ugly whore.'
I was used to these kind of messeges, after all, I get them everyday. I arrive at my bathroom, walking in and closing the door. I study the bathroom, My Baby Blue walls, with my big, glass shower, and my purple toilet, with my white sink, mirror above it. I walk forward, avoiding looking in the mirror. I don't want to look in the mirror - what I see disgusts me. My long, red hair, pail brown eyes? And my short, medium sized body. I hate myself. I am the complete oppisite of perfect, Imperfect. I strip off my cloths, and step into my shower, closing the galss door behind me. I turn the water on, feeling the warm water immediatly run down my back. I enjoy the feeling really, It calms me. It's also a good thinking place, and a good place to wash my body, obviously. I grab my Cherry Scented shampoo, squirting some onto my hand, and then rubbing it into my hair. I rub my fingers on my scalp, happy with how it feels. I'm feeling pain anymore - for the short 15 minutes I am in the shower, I never feel pain. Well, most of the time. I rinse out my shampoo, going for my conditioner. I squrt some onto my head, Immediatly rubbing it in, and rinsing it out. I then grab my berrie scented body wash, cleaning my bdoy of any access dirt, germs. Ince I'm done, I turn the shower off, stepping out and wrapping my hair, and body in a towel. I walk out of my bathroom, turning the fan on when I leave. I walk to my desk, sitting down on the chair.
I take the towel out of my hair, and rub my hands on the towel, drying my hair little bit. Then I take my brush, and start at the ends of my hair, brushing all the tangles out, slowly going up my scalp. Once I finish brushing my hair, I hrab my blow dryer, and dry my hair.
(After drying my hair)
I brush my hair quickly, then roll my sleeves up. I see the marks I've made, and feel tears well up in my eyes.
I shake my head, clearing all the thoughts, and tears away. Then, I grab my concealer and apply it on my wrists, convering it up. I wince on a couple of them, the make up touching the inside of a cut with a lot of depth. I finish, getting up and walking to my dresser, opening it up and taking out a pink tank top, a black hoodie, and a pair of black tites. I then grab go to my bottom droor, taking out a laced black bra, and red panties. After I grab them, I grab all of my clothing and put it on, throwing some white socks on woth my white vans.
(A/n Damn April, Back at it again with the white vans)
I walk over to my white back pack, picking it up and walking over to my phone and headphones. I grab them, throw them in my bag with all my textbooks and school stuff, and walk out the door.I walk down the stairs, and am met woth that delicous smell of Pancakes and Bacon. The smell makes me hungry, but it also makes me feel quizzy, and sick at the same time. I grip the railing, bending down, then clutching my stomach. I take deep breaths, closing my eyes, going to my happy place.
*Flash Back*
"April, Hunny, Guess what?" My mom says, rubbing my back. I grumble a response, slowly lifting my head from the warmness of my pillow. "What is it, Mommy?" My 5 year old self replies, yawning right after. My mom, Rosa Payne, chuckles, before squealing and picking me up, throwing me over her shoulder. "It's Christmas time, Baby Girl!" My mom screams, running out my bedroom door, and to the stairs. She stopped at the stairs, calling for my Dad, Liam, "Oh Liam, baby" My mom calls, tapping her foot on the hardwood floors. All of a sudden, my Mom is picked up from behind, making my Mom land Bridal Style in their arms, me laying in her lap. My Mom and I look to the person who picked us up, seeing it was my Dad, Liam. We all hurst out laughing, while Liam jigs down the stairs, laughing hysterically with my Mom and I. We went into the living room, still laughing. Liam puts us down, me running to the Christmas tree to examine the presents that Santa left for me, gasping at the amount. My five year old self turns around squealing happily, and running to my loving parents. I hug them with all my might, as tight as a five year old girl can. But, little did I know, that would be the last happy memorie I had with my Mum.
*end of flashback*
I stand up because I gained my composure, and slowly walk to the kitchen. The flashback I had, was the last time I saw my mother. The next day, she went missing. My Dad always said she had 'Some Where To Go' and me being 5 years old, I didm't question it further. Sure, I'd question 'Wheres Mommy?' Or 'When will mommy be home?' But I always got the same answer, 'Soon, Baby'. I stopped asking at the age of 8, because I gave up. I walk into the kitchen, my thoughts being cleared when my Dad's voice booms through the house. "James alieth Payne!" My Dad yells, probably yelling at my Brother for swearing or something. Or maybe sneaking out- or maybe even got caught fucking one of his 'Girls'. You see, my Brother is comsidered 'Hot Stuff' to all the girls, and 'Cool' to the Guys. Thus making him popular. And, that's another reason my life sucks. I'm always known to people as 'James Little Sister'. Or 'Liams Daughter'. And the worst of all, 'Shrimp Girl'. How I got that nickname, well I was in the cafeteria in my Freshman year, standing at the front of the cafeteria, examining the tables. I wanted to see who I could sit with, make Friends with. Ir maybe even look for my brother, to sit with him. Be in the 'Cool Group' with him. But, My Little selfs dreams were crushed when one of my brothers friends tripped me, making me fall face first into someones shrimp. And, that, ladys and Gentlemen, is how I got named 'Shrimp Girl'. But, back to the present. I walk to my fridge, opening it and grabbing an apple, closing the fridge and turning around. But what I was meet with was nit what I expected. I saw my Dad standing angirly infront of my Brother, a girl by his side, my Brothers arm around her waist. "James! I don't want you bringing your whores into this house!" My Dad yells, throwing his hands around dramatically. My Brother sighs, "Dad, she isn't a whore. I havem't even fucked her, yet, and I love her." He says, kissing the girl quickly on the cheek. 'Well that's a pile of bullshit..' I thought. I mean, it is. He says that whenever he gets caught with a girl. "Thats a bunch of bullshit!" My Dad yells, glarinf at the two. I watch as my Dads arms cross over his chest, glaring holes into the 'couples' heads. My brother stares at him, his eyes soon shiftimg to meet mine. Once his eyes meet mine, he pleads for help. And I know exactly what I have to do. I mean, whenever it gets this bad, to the point where James can't comvince Dad, I'm asked to help him out, tell him they're actually a thing. Which I hate doing, because well I'm lying, right? I hate lying to my Dad, but I have to. For my Brother. Because if I don't, he'll get mad. And a mas Chase, is a scary Chase. I sigh, walking up to them. "Daddy?" I whimper, looking at him with innocent eyes. His head snaps towards me, his hard glare, soon turning into a loving stare. "Hey, April." He says, walking over to me and giving me a hug. I hug back, pulling away. "So, Daddy, I don't mean to barge on your arguement.." I start off, glancing at my Brother. He has a smirk on his face, and then my eyes glance to the girl, she is glaring at me. Why? I don't know. I mean, I'm helping her right? She should be thankful! "They're really a couple, the whole school is buzzing about it." I say.throwing my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. He wraps his arms around my back, lettimg out a sigh. "They're not lying, don't get mad at them" I mumble into his shirt. I'm suprised he even understood me. But, he nodded anyway. He turned to look at my Brother, his arms still around me. "Go to school you too." He grumbles, shooing them away. He then pulls away from the hug, telling me to do the same. "Okay, Dad! I love you!" I say, walking away, apple in hand. He mumbles an I love you back, walking further into the kitchen. I walk out of my house, seeing my Brother getting onto his bkack motercycle, his 'Girl' getting on behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest. My Brother looks at me, and smirks "Thanks sis. Have fun at school" he says. "Oh, and don't talk to me, okay?" He says, then he roars his motercycle to life, speeding away from the house. "Your welcome, I love you" I mumble, tears briming my eyes. This is what always happens, I do something for him, he says Goodbye, and tells me to mot talk to him, infront of his buddies at least. I feel a couple tears slip from my eyes, but I wipe them away. I can't cry over this, not this time. And with that thought, I grab my skateboard, and start to ride to school. 'Oh, I can't wait for school.' I think, scratching my elbow. Notice the sarcasm? Can there even be sarcasm in your mind? I don't know, but either way, I was being sarcastic, and am dreading going to school. Badly..

Anyywayys heres the first chapter of this book. I hope it's good, and that you'll all like it. Hope you enjoyed, love you all, Sincerely, _thats_me_hoe_

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