Midnight Thoughts

Night 1

Usually, I'm a happy person, or at lease I think I am. Well I try to be happy for other people. I kind of tricked myself into being happy.

What if I am happy, and I'm just being sad again. I really don't know. Before, these thoughts were bad. I'm talking about extremely bad. I got a lot better though. I've been in a positive mindset but lately it just went downhill.

Nothing completely bad happened, so I don't understand why I'm feeling like this again.
I'm finally dating my crush I've liked since forever, I'm not getting picked on at school, everything's been great. Everything, but my thoughts.
I feel lost. Alone. Gone.

The tears want to come out, but they won't. It's like I'm empty, but I'm not. It's confusing.

I'm trying to keep myself going, and happy, but I cant seem to do it. I don't know what's causing these emotions. It's like its fogged up in my brain and I can't think of why I feel like this.

My self-confidence dropped quite a bit, also. I didn't even know that was possible considering how low it was already.

I just want to disappear..