words || l.r.h

1

October 5th , 2022

I feel like your junior year of high school is the most depressing. It's like you're past being new to high school, but you're not quite close to graduating yet. It's at the tip of your finger tips but is just out of your reach. You aren't required to know where you want to further your education, but you need to start looking into things before it's too late.When is too late? It's an awkward limbo that no one enjoys. Its not even 2 months into my junior year and I've already come to this conclusion.

I glide by each day that is as uneventful as the next. My boring snot nose town had very few redeeming qualities, but me and my handful of friends do the best we can with what we got. They are right with me , passing on each day and just waiting it out til we can finally make it out of here and live.

Classes aren't exactly hard junior year , just full of a lot of busy work and tedious essays which is what every other year is like. Core classes are always a drag no matter what grade you're in. Math, science, history, and English make even the happiest person on campus want to get a xanax prescription.. Let's just pray i don't reach that point too early in the year.

As for the electives ? They can be an easy A or a nightmare depending on what you sign up for. If you're anything like me, God willing you're not, you sign up for journalism.

Journalism , aka being apart of the yearbook committee, is the freshest kind of hell you will ever encounter in high school. Calculus and advanced physics has nothing on this class. Being on the yearbook isn't cute or quirky and everyone isn't one big family. It's basically a war zone full of deadlines, page layouts, and anxiety inducing interviews. For some reason I thought joining my junior year would be fun and a totally cool way to express my love for writing and graphic design. I was really wrong.

"How's the varsity soccer spread coming along, Kendall?"

The voice of the only person i can stand on this committee snapped me out of my self induced daydream.

"Do you REALLY wanna know ?" I asked , turning around in my chair.

"Cmon , Ken. Give me something to work with here. I can only cover your ass so much until Janet starts asking questions and then we're both fucked." Violet, my deadline editor, said in a concerning tone.

"I just don't understand why they gave me the soccer spread like honestly when did i ever give off the vibe that I wanted to write about anything sports related." I sighed and placed my head in my hands, feeling defeated.

I'm not a sports person.

At all.

I have the utmost respect for sports players and everything but when it comes to keeping up with a sport ? I'd rather watch paint dry. And the fact that i was given the football spread was almost insulting.

"You know that everyone doesn't get things they love doing - especially newbies. My first year I got the golf page and it was living hell. It gets better." Her voice is comforting but the words don't calm me down.

I'd been pushing back continuing with this spread. Well, continuing was more of a stretch. I filled out the page full of boarders and word boxes but it was left hollow with not even a single 'The' written across the page. I knew i had to interview players and find a cute little story to write about but i was just so unmotivated, in life and in this class.

"I promise, first thing tomorrow ill be right on it. Ill be a brand new, fresh eyed journalist ready to talk to whoever i need to." i said with a false confidence i couldn't even convince myself of. Violet just gave me a weary smile as she sighed and gave me some busy work to occupy myself with to pass the time with and so Mrs.Hanks, the yearbook teacher, wouldn't ask any questions.

The sound of the bell set me free and i raced out of class, hearing violet shout something at me about tomorrow.

Since journalism was my second to last class, i felt relief rush through my body as i trudged towards one of the only classes that didn't bring me dread.Two of my friends, Hallie and Bridget, fell in stride next to me as i crossed campus. The rambled in my ear about their previous classes and i stayed mostly tuned in, also letting my mind wander elsewhere. I didn't consider myself an introvert, i tended to be loud when i wanted to be and didn't really shy away from most situations. But, that only extended so far, like it didn't cover the fact that i didn't want to speak to a single person that was involved in a sport.

It's not as bad as the football team would be, or at least that is what i keep trying to convince myself of.

"Ken you are completely zoned out. At least pretend to care about my crisis" I heard Bridget whine, snapping me back to reality as we entered the drama room. I guess i wasn't as tuned in as i gave myself credit for.

"Crisis? I wouldn't call your boyfriend not texting you back a crisis." Hallie scoffed, rolling her eyes and plopping down in her seat next to mine.

"Yeah but its not like he's doing anything, so why cant he text me back?" Bridget said defeated, sitting down across from us and checking her phone.

"Oh yeah he's not doing anything because he's unemployed. So you're upset over a jobless man. I rest my case." Hallie said, pretending to hammer down a courtroom javel.

I let out a snort as Bridget made a shocked face."He's taking a gap year!!!!" she defended.

"3 years is a big gap, but okay." Hallie retorted. " but ANYWAYS. How's yearbook? Still making you want to peel your skin off?" she asked me, deciding to change to subject away from the drama.

"As always." i say with a fake curt smile. "I have to interview a soccer player tomorrow for the spread i've been avoiding. I just absolutely do not want to do that."

"You STILL haven't done that?" Bridget asked.

"No i haven't exactly been gung ho about it. Like you'd be excited to talk to one of those neanderthals." i replied, trying to put her in my shoes.

"Now you know that she would eat that shit up." Hallie laughed.

"They aren't all bad! Some of them we've known since middle school. I have friends of friends that could get you someone to talk to!" Hallie added, trying to be helpful.

"Thanks Hal, but I think i just have to do this organically. Might as well commit and show them I can actually do something and i'm not just another dumbass." I said to her. I really think i could do it on my own, I just needed to find a push."

Our conversation faded out as our drama instructor entered the room. I absolutely adored this class so i just sat back and waited to hear what we were working on for the day. At least for the rest of the class, I didn't have to worry about the soccer spread plaguing my mind and could just practice my diction and read some scripts.

An hour seemed to pass by as i heard the bell freeing me once again. I collected myself and asked both my friends if they needed rides home. Both declined so i parted ways with them as i weaved my ways through the sea of bodies and headed towards the B parking lot. Of course i was late to picking my parking spot during orientation and got stuck at the second lot that shared spaces with the soccer and baseball fields. I put my air pods in and hit shuffle on my weekly playlist spotify randomized for me and tried not to pant in the blistering heat beating on me.