Player Meets Weirdo

Chapter 1- The Heart Wrenching News Of Heart Wrenchingness

*Alice's POV* 

It all began on a hot, sunny day in London...PAHAHA who am I kidding it's never hot in England. Pssh we could have all 4 seasons in one week with the kind of weather here but let's just continue this story.  

It all began on a cold, rainy day in East Anglia. 

I was woken up by my brother just like every other day. My brother, now he had a...unique way of waking me up. He would never use the same method of waking me up more than once. Yesterday was throwing his dirty boxers in my face it almost went in my mouth. I'll get my revenge. One day...

Today I had the pleasure of being woken up to him farting in my face. Yes ladies and gentlemen he FARTED in MY FACE and it was a really strong smelling fart if I may say so myself. 

"CALEB!" I screamed at the top of my lungs lunging at him. 

"Hey sis did you enjoy your waking up present." He said grinning while stepping out of my way.  

"Yeah of course I enjoyed it, you prick."  

"Good, Good well mum and dad have a special announcement which you may or may not-" 

I cut him off by tackling him and socked him in the jaw before he even had enough time to react. 

"Oww! MUM SHE PUNCHED ME!" He yelled while rubbing his jaw. 

My mum was pretty used to this by now so she didn't waste any time bursting through my door. 

"Alice get off your brother!" She commanded like she owned the place. I'll have you know this house is under my dad's name. So take that! 

"But mum he farted in my face" I whined but still got off him, reluctantly may I add. He could've done with a couple more punches. 

"I suggest you wash your face and spray some perfume on yourself then." She said biting back a grin. My jaw literally dropped to the ground and no it wasn't because I was shocked and it opened in surprise, no my asshole of a brother shoved me from behind. The surprise attack was unexpected-well duh! A surprise attack isn't going to be expected- so I face planted on to the floor. Just giving the carpet a good morning kiss and all. 

I groaned rolling over. 

"My face. My beautiful face. It's disfigured I shall never be seen in public again. I don't how you go in public looking like that all the time Caleb." I said waving one of my hands toward where his facial regions should be. I don't know my other hand was covering my face. 

"Oh shut up I'm ten times better looking then you." He said while posing as if that made him better looking. I honestly do not know why girls want to go out with my brother I bet if he farted in their face to wake them up they would never talk to him again, but I highly doubt he would do that to them since I was 'special' as he liked to call it . If that's what being special means to a guy I never ever want to be special. 

"Pssh more like ten times uglier!" I put emphasise on the word 'uglier' before running out screaming."LALALALA! CANT HEAR YOU!" So I wouldn't have to hear his smartass remarks. I loved my brother sometimes. 

I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth for exactly 3 minutes. You're probably wondering how I timed it. I have an hourglass with 3 minutes worth of sand in it, so exciting I know. I'm just crapping myself with excitement right now. I then did the business that is normally done on the toilet and I also washed my face making sure to scrub extra hard to get those pesky fart particles off and I walked out the bathroom feeling as fresh as a daisy. I never really got that expression.How fresh is as fresh as a daisy? How fresh is this supposed daisy? And are we even sure it is a daisy? For all we know it's a cat in a daisy costume plotting revenge on man kind for all that disgusting cat food. You're probably wondering how this cat is going to get revenge the cat isn't even fresh. Oh holy shit so all this time being as fresh as a daisy you weren't even fresh. We have a brand new conspiracy here!