she's a tornado. Alina was a put together wreck. a disaster waiting to fall apart, a tornado about to hit. he was a tornado that already hit. together their the perfect storm.
lowercase intended
"Hey what happened with that boy?" Jean said once I got back over to our table.
"not much. he's interesting though." I said and sipped my drink.
"no but for real what happened with that boy." Jean said not buying my bullshit.
"I think I like him which is weird because I don't do that because I look like your neighbor hood trash can but he's totally hot and totally intelligent and interesting and I think I probably wanna make out with him for 2 hours straight." I said and sipped my drink again.
she looked at me with a blank face until the corners of her mouth turned into an evil smirk.
"what? what is it?" I asked.
"I think Alina here has had her first human feeling." she said.
"Jean." I paused. "let's be real here. it's probably some 20 minute infatuation with a guy that pretended to read me like one of his favorite books or some shit but actually just wants to sleep with me." I smiled and sipped my drink.
"sorry babe."
I chuckled.
"don't be sorry I got you for a boyfriend."
"always babe." she said in a deep voice.
we laughed and got up to leave.
/////////////////////////////
I have a sliding glass door in my room that opens to outside so I just went in that door so I'm already in my room.
I put all my books up and got out my new makeup and put that in my highligh drawer.
I got out some paints and a canvas & carried it outside. I set it up and got all my paints out and ready. I closed my eyes to see what I wanted to draw, and the only thing I could see was that boys face.
I shrugged and guessed I would draw him I started to sketch out his bone structure to his face and then his brown shaggy hair, next his icy blue eyes and then his big plump lips that looked sore and soft all at the same time. I finished with his big nose that for some unknown reason made him insanely attractive.
when I was done I carried it down to the basement which was turned into my creation of a pant room/chill room/place where I get high and drunk and fall asleep on a pile of pillows and blankets I made...room.
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I set it facing the wall along with all my other paintings.
I thought it was crazy that I just drew a boy that I met for like 5 minutes on a canvas which was spot on including his bone structure and everything. I realized the reason I could see his face so vividly in my mind was because I didn't stop looking at him for those long everlasting 5 minutes.
I rolled my eyes out of my thoughts and found my hidden stash of liquor and took a chug out of the vodka bottle.
it would be nice to smile and know once it's over I'll still be smiling on the outside but I know once it leaves my face my mind gets flooded with negative thoughts that overwhelm me and take over every inch of my broken down body.
I remembered how he could look at me for such a short period and know me better than I knew myself. I heard him speak the truth about me that I hadn't even said out loud or accepted about myself yet.
i wanted to hear him talk about me again and I wanted to hear him talk about him self and i needed to know about him like the way he knows about me.
I'm craving a stranger that I'll never see again but I loved doing it.
