First Love

Dreaming of the Past

I can do this. I have to do this.

I knew he had a free period. I also knew he liked to spend his downtime in the library, where it was quiet and no one would bother him.

Our high school's library was built recently, so we didn't have a vast selection of books yet. It was mostly empty and people weren't used to go there still. Although it was perfectly nice, and he knew it. It wasn't only quiet and mostly unoccupied, it also had new purchased furniture and its windows were always white due to the cold temperature inside the building.

He's there. I was right. Now I just have to breathe in courage and do it.

I could do it. I have planned every single detail. I would skip my Math class, find him in his favorite hiding spot and....

Wow, he's simply so handsome. All that dark hair covering his gray eyes, giving him a mysterious and sexy aura. I have to thank whoever invented school uniforms. Our private school had the most flattering and elegant dress code ever. Well, at least on him. He looked like a dream in his long sleeved white shirt, navy blazer and blue and red pleated tie. He took my breath away every time I was near him.

Breathe. Get air into your lungs and start talking. He's looking at you.

Without noticing I was before him. He was sitting in one of the library's cobalt couches, reading Uncle Tom's Cabin of all books. He looked at me. I couldn't talk. Words failed me. What should I say first? I thought I had everything sorted out and now I was having second thoughts. What if he rejected me? What if he laughed? I stood there, like an idiot, looking at the floor and twisting the strands of my newly purple and pink dyed hair. Yeah, my selection in hair coloring have almost driven my mother crazy and it also clashed my uniform.

"Yes?" He addressed me, "Can I help you?" His voice was magical, but it also had a pinch of curiosity and annoyance.

Why could he be annoyed? Because you're standing there like a fool in front of him, the analytical part of me thought.

"Eh... huh... I just wanted to say something to you," I finally replied.

"Well, say it." He's always been impatient. I knew.

"Yeah! hum...." This is it. This is the moment you had being preparing yourself for, "Basically, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're cool. And I would really much like to go out with you."

"You want to go out with me?" Now he was more curious than annoyed.

"Yes, I do. I think that I...."

~*~*~*~

That's when I suddenly woke up. Before I told him....

Why was I dreaming about that?

I haven't thought about that in years.

Ten years to be exact.

Wow, that long.

The cotton striped sheets clung to my body. I was in bed, in my new apartment at 388 Beale St. about to start my new life and I was having dreams about the past. A past I tried hard to forget.

I haven't allowed myself to think about love for so long that I had almost forgotten my first. The first, and only, time my heart broke.

This is certainly not the time to start thinking about love again. Today is my first day in my new job at Bay Media Inc.

I have to get ready and leave.

This is so not the moment to think about love. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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